There certainly is some doom and gloom out there at the moment with the main topic being interest rates and retail figures being down.

Now I was always one to take pot-shots at local tourism operators when they start whining about figures being down because I have always thought the Coast lacked in the service department, but we have nothing on our English counterparts.

Earlier in the year I visited my son in London with my first exposure to English retail service was asking an attendant in a sports store for a size 11 running shoe.

He never spoke, toddled off and came back with a 10. 5 which he handed me and stood there, which I mistakenly took for caring.

I tried them on and asked whether he thought they were too tight, expecting him to bend down and feel where my toes were, he just shrugged, and said, “There the only ones we got man,” and walked off and left me, to the muffled laughter of my son who knew it would happen but didn’t tell me just to see my reaction.

So by the time he took me to my accommodation I was conditioned to what to expect or at least I thought so.

I had to stay in a hotel because there was no room in old mates flat all though I did stay there the first night sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in the lounge.

The next morning when he asked me how I slept and I told him it was the hardest mattress I had ever laid on he explained that he pumped it up with a nitrogen bottle, in hindsight I was lucky I never flew out the window.

Now for travellers to London, the Holiday Inn at Wandsworth should be noted with a question mark after my experience there.

The go was, one night there and then off to Scotland for the weekend and back on Monday night until Friday.

No drama the first night except all the staff was too busy to smile, say thank you or any other human contact.

The trouble started the next morning when I was told I was only booked until Thursday and sadly they were booked out.

They told me to ring back later in the day, which I did and got the extra night.

On returning from Scotland, and driving all day in a blizzard I went to check in and was told that check out on Thursday was 10 am.

I explained that I had rang and booked the extra night, but was bluntly informed that never happened because coincidently it was the same staff member who told me previously it was full.

An argument ensued, which I couldn’t win because I had no paper work and it was left with checking the next morning.

Now I had three bags, so I juggled them up to my room, and found the card for the door didn’t work, so back down stairs with all my stuff and was met with the reception dude rolling hi eyes and explaining how the swipe works.

So back up, no luck, back down, more rolling of eyes, and told to wait up there until a staff member comes.

Waiting, waiting no staff member so to pass the time I swiped and swiped.

Bingo, it opens on the 100th go. So I put two bags in come back for the third and the door closes leaving me and one bag in the corridor.

I had missed my widow of opportunity, so back down I go, with still no staff member so after another 100 swipes I get back in to the room which smelt like a cigar club had their AGM there, even though I had asked for non-smoking.

The only good thing about the door not working was I wasn’t game to go out, so I never spent any money.

The next day they fixed the door that there was nothing wrong with and also found me the extra night, so things were improving, but old mate did tell me that I would have to come back down Thursday morning and book in again, which I thought was strange.

So a couple of pleasant days in London and Thursday morning down I come to book back in and am told that it is full.

I was then told rather than get upset I shouldn’t expect to be able to rock up and expect to extend in the busy season with no warning.

At this stage I was looking for a hidden camera as it was the only thing stopping my head exploding.

Eventually he figured out it was a new booking, but it was still my fault, talk about who’s on first, what’s on second. I love Australia.