Personalised number plates are common around the Sunshine Coast.

Some are people’s birth dates or ages and initials; some are nicknames, and there are a lot of clever and not-so-clever examples.

Now I reckon I am an authority on the not so clever because my plates are TUG 11, which reflects my nickname, Tugboat, which implies maybe I am a bit slow or I have a steamboat mouth and a tugboat brain. The 11 was my footy number in my mediocre career as a park footballer.

They were given to me as a present years ago when some staff at a pub were glad to see me leave and at the time thought I would never use them. But I did and I have to say I kind of like it even if, from time to time, people point at them and make a rude gesture and laugh.

But as I said, I reckon I am pretty qualified in the silly number plate department, which brings me to my point. What is the go with drivers using plates that have the car’s brand on them?

Haven’t they got a stupid nickname?

Is it a coincidence that BMW are three letters that seem destined to end up on a set of plates? Sure there are a few folk who pay the little bit extra, which they already have for their car, to add an extra letter, as in MERC, but really, do they need to do it?

JAG is another that pops up occasionally, but BMW seems to have the personalised plate department well and truly covered.

Of course Australian cars are not to be forgotten either, with a few HSVs and FPVs kicking around, representing Holden and Ford, but in my opinion the Germans really have it covered with the three-letter plates.

But why? The people who can afford those beautiful cars, what possible reason do they have to willingly pay for plates to highlight the brand of vehicle they drive?

Are they saying, “Just in case you missed it, this is a very expensive German car. You may have missed the bonnet emblem, the boot badge and the badges on the alloy wheels, so I thought I would just make sure you knew what it was, you know, spell it out for you.”

Now you may be reading this and thinking I am just jealous because I don’t have one. But I did have one for four years and they are a great car – it just wasn’t me.

I realised that one day when I was in a restaurant and had unwittingly blocked in another customer’s car. The lady who ran the joint asked all other 80 diners who owned the car before she trundled up to our table and said: “This is a ridiculous question but you don’t own a BMW, do you?”

I realised that I should do everyone a favour and sell it, as I was clearly cheapening the brand.

Maybe they should bring back the stickers across the windscreen so everyone can get into it, you know, Valiant,

Ford, Holden, Leyland P76 etc. But I suppose if I can get around with TUG on my plates, then everything else is probably an improvement, although there are some similarities.

Speaking of cars, I have an update from a column a few weeks ago about my wife being sucked into the ENJO cult.

Well, like any good cult, it has claimed another victim – me.

We had a very perky lady come around for a demonstration, and my wife hid my car keys and the dog leads so I couldn’t escape.

The lady helped me wash my car, which required half a bucket of water and some magic clothes.

That was almost enough to suck me in. The clincher was rubbing the door seals of my beer fridge.

Houston, we have lift-off. The car’s clean, the beer’s colder and I’m in.