Last night’s Australian Idol delivered more laughs than back-to-back episodes of The Simpsons, South Park and Little Britain.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the auditions are the best part of the series.

Judges Mark Holden, Marcia Hines, Ian Dickson and Kyle Sandilands started their national search for talent (and I use the term loosely) in Queensland and were greeted by more weirdos and wannabes than a Star Trek fan club convention.

Yes, it may sound harsh, but when a bloke turns up to an audition wearing a glue-on moustache, claiming to be from Kazakhstan and then proceeding to attempt to sing the Kazakhstan national anthem, that’s weird!

Then there was the chap with the mahogany fake tan who claimed to be in lust with his best friend’s mum and sang a self-penned song with the lyrics “I love the mums and the mums love me”. He actually made it through to the next stage of the competition.

After his break from the show last year, Dicko was in finer form than ever. Here’s just a sample of my favourite lines:

“That wasn’t an audition; it was more like a haunting.”

“Were you dancing, or did the aliens forget to remove the anal probe.”

“You didn’t so much sing that song as kick it to death.”

“You look like a bag of sh****, you really do.”

I know, I know, it’s cruel to laugh at other people’s misfortune … and the fact that the judges had to sit through some of these ear-scarring performances was truly unfortunate.

But it does make for good TV. Clearly some of those taking part never intended to be taken seriously – and the others? Well, when the pub cleared last time they picked up the mic on karaoke night, they really should have heeded the message.

There were glimpses of talent – including the young girl with the tie-dyed hair who played guitar and sang a little like Missy Higgins – but the real joy is in watching those whose only gift is providing comedic relief.

The nationwide auditions continue again tonight (7.30pm, Channel 10) and next week, so if you need a good belly laugh, tune in.