Let me start by saying I am not one of those people who has trouble distinguishing television soap characters from the real life actors who portray them.

Unlike many people, I have a pretty good concept of reality, of television and the quite large difference between the two.

In fact I, probably much like you, have often scoffed when reading interviews with soap stars where they marvel at how (clearly deranged) fans come up to them in the supermarket and either abuse them, offer sympathy or words of advice – all based on what their character is enduring on TV.

How ridiculous is that? Don’t they know that A) these people don’t actually exist and B) the person standing before them is not actually going through that pregnancy/break-up/inner turmoil/violent relationship/secret relationship/grief or terminal illness?

Really, you could slap some people across the face quite justifiably sometimes, couldn’t you?

However, and it’s a big however, I HATE it when actors we have come to know and love through a particular show leave that show and then to pop up as some weird character on a completely different show. It's not right.

Cases in point: Nick (Myles Pollard) from McLeod’s suddenly appearing as sleazy lawyer to Drew’s mum Jazz in Home and Away; cute vet Dave (Brett Tucker) from McLeod’s bursting onto the Neighbours set as school counsellor with a heart of gold Fitzy; and All Saints’ brooding paramedic Scott (Conrad Coleby), who is soon to appear as mysterious hunk Roman on Home and Away.

Let me tell you, the double-takes and head-on-the-side-like-a-confused-puppy looks have been happening thick and fast at my place.

I reckon these actors, if they are lucky enough to land a role that genuinely strikes a chord with viewers, should settle in, get their money's worth, form a bond with their audience and then retire.

If they want variety, get them in make-up and whack on some serious prosthetics and/or wigs so they are not recognisable at all.

Seriously, people, is the state of Australian acting so appalling that we only have this crop of seven actors to cast in these roles?

Is there some sort of club forming here that just perpetuates this constant soap-swap? If there is, I bet you a year’s worth of NIDA classes that there are thousands of struggling actors desperately lining up to join.

Whatever the case, I will certainly be bringing it up next time I see Martha, Stevie, Susan, Von or Harold in the fruit and veg section at Woolies …

— REBECCA MARSHALL