Go channel surfing with our rotating panel of couch potatoes as they share their views on the good, the bad and the ugly on our TV screens. We want to know what you think too, so sink into the sofa and share your comments.

Idol single is a load of schmaltzy twaddle

November 20 | our TV junkies

Stand by for a revelation, Potato fans. The Australian Idol winner’s single is crap.

That news is about as surprising as the fact that the Idol runners-up end up having more successful careers than the actual winner.

But this year, there were magic clues, dead giveaways and obvious signs as to just how high on the crap-o-meter this one would rate.

Let us examine the evidence found cryptically hidden in the songs sung by the two finalists on Sunday night.

Matt “Any Relation To Schapelle?” Corby sang High and Dry by Jamie Cullum, no doubt in reference to exactly how his musical credibility will be left once he wins the big one on Sunday night.

The skinny-jean-wearing one then gave a sorry attempt at Wolfmother’s Mind’s Eye that would have made Andrew Stockdale’s locks curl, if his shaggy mop wasn’t already the wonderful retro bundle of coils and twists that it is. It was as horrific a place, no doubt, as the mind’s eye of the writer of the winner’s song.

Cue Natalie “Not Quite Gucci” Gauci and her rendition of Running Up That Hill – obviously a metaphor for her approach to the competition’s finish line.

Nat, like Thomas the Tank Engine, may think she can, but all the positive affirmations in the world won’t get her to the top of this Idol hill.

Her second song was the most appropriately titled of the night: Apologise.
Yes, something every single person associated with every single version of the show should do, publicly and immediately.

The winner’s song Here I Am is formulaic, schmaltzy twaddle that does as much service to music as George Bush does to Mensa.

Careful Australia, it’s Idol finale time and this awful mish-mash of bung notes and dull vocals will be unleashed onto an airwave near you very soon, so plug your ears with cotton wool NOW to muffle the sound and to soak up the red stuff when your ears bleed.

- REBECCA MARSHALL

Do you love or loathe the winner’s single Here I Am? Would you buy it or (literally) burn it?

The Idol final is on this Sunday on Channel 10. Who do you think will be crowned the winner?

Recent Comments

Add a comment

Posted by localgirl from caloundra west

on 20 November, 2007 at 8:01 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

I thought nats second song was great, she has a really great voice. If she doesn't win that want be the end for her. Go Nat you have my vote.

Posted by Jessica from Maroochydore

on 21 November, 2007 at 8:51 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

Seeings as the runner up always has a staggeringly more successful career than the winner, fingers and toes crossed Natalie Gauci crosses the finish line behind Matt Corby. I don't get the "dreamy" label attached this skinny jean wearing, I wear dresses bloke. Go Nat. I'm voting for Matt.

Posted by Saffer from Maroochydore

on 21 November, 2007 at 9:18 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

Matt seems a sure winner, but yes, the single is going to suck as will anything released under the Idol's banner.

Matt was right to feel "out of place"at the Arias. Idol contestants aren't the same thing as hardworking artists making it on their own steam.

But being an obviously talented lad, if he can get beyond the Idol stigma and stay off drugs, he may do some real music in the future.

I'm sure Nat will be available for performances at corporate functions soon.

Posted by boyfromoz from Sunshine Coast

on 25 November, 2007 at 11:48 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

Im sure they will both be available for weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs in no time.