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Farmers hope to lasso a wife

October 25 | our TV junkies

Cattle call for all you single women!

Did you catch last night’s The Farmer Wants a Wife (Nine, 7.30pm)?

What a hoot!

The show features six hot-blooded Aussie men looking to find love – but you can forget the usual flash mansions, tuxedos and red roses found on TV dating series.

In true Aussie style, the single gals get hauled down to the Southern Shire in New South Wales in a huge bus similar to the one that you catch when you can’t afford to fly Jetstar.

It reminded me of the way cattle are transported to the yards of no return in big livestock trucks.

Once the bus arrived, these lasses were unloaded and told to wait for their gentleman callers to come over for a five-minute speed date.

I don’t know why they didn’t just put them in a cattle yard with numbers on their rumps so the farmers could do what they no best – checking their teeth, ears and hind quarters.

Yes, I know, everyone deserves to find love and God knows these lads are out there on the land, keeping the country going. They’re so isolated and busy that they had to resort to posting their profiles online.

If that’s not bad enough, all of Australia now knows they can’t get a date.

But apparently there are hundreds of single women out there who are looking for love. They sent in their applications, naming the farmer that they would like to get to know, and each farmer then chose his top 10.

Fast-forward to last night and the five-minute speed date each bloke had with his 10 perspective ladies. They were five of the most uncomfortable, cringeworthy moments I’ve seen – and cupid’s arrow didn’t even seem to hit a target.

For the final humiliation, the women had to stand in line while each farmer chose his top five.

These ladies now get to go on a group date with their farmer. Two’s company and three’s a crowd, so I wonder what you call five on a date?

As the weeks go by, the farmers will choose two women to go back to their farms and, with any luck, Farmers Brad, Chris, Craig, Drew, Gus and Jon may find true love.

Or at least they’ll get an extra set of hands to help out on the farm for two weeks.

— STAR DELANEY

Did The Farmer Wants a Wife make you go all gooey-eyed over the potential for romance or cringe with embarrassment? Can you spot any matches already?