Danksta Downunder, a.k.a. Hamish Danks Brown of Noosa Heads, is the founding
heads-and-tails of the newly emerging microstate of Danksta Downunder. This is
a realm devoted to performance poetry, writing, music, experimenta and obscura. It's all vroom and gloom on the supercity track
| Hamish Brown
The inaugural Local Government Grand Prix Election will be held in a municipal and regional racing program to be held across Queensland in March 2008.
This new event, which combines all the excitement and action of the Grand Prix with the dangerous tactics and reckless manouvering of local government elections, is a bold partnership between Ferrari, Qld Events Corporation, Tourism Qld and the Dept of Local Government.
The Minister for Local Government, Andrew "Leadfoot" Fraser, applauded the landmark deal as: "A chequered flag for Queensland and a guaranteed champagne bath on the winner's podium for local government in Queensland!"
A wheel-spokesman for Premier Peter Beattie said: "This is a genuine outcome of the Smart State going out of its way to outsmart itself!"
Other sponsors of this event are expected to include the newly established Formula 1 Property Council and the Urban Development of Merging Lanes Institute, with the Automotive Electoral Consortium to supervise the conduct of the Local Government Grand Prix itself.
Even though entry to this event has been limited by drastically reducing the number of local council teams, they still outnumber the Ferrari owners of Queensland who are eligible to enter.
Therefore the Italian racing icon Ferrari is shipping a fleet of its latest-model sports cars to Queensland. Every council candidate will be delivered with a new Ferrari on a leaseback arrangement when the local government election is declared in February.
Protests about the new rules governing this event and restricting entry to Ferrari owners and only 72 recognised council car clubs have been lodged by many of the 84 former competitive teams that have been disqualified.
The long-time, crowd-pleasing and popular Bob "Bluesmoke" Abbot, Driver 1 for the past nine years with Team Noosa, is one of many local and well-known racing identities who are being forced to exit the Grand Prix's brand new regional roundabout track on the Sunshine Coast.
"It's a rigged race that's been set up by a bunch of Brisbane blow-ins who have no love of fair play! They are treating the local government racing community and the fans with complete contempt!" said an angry Bluesmoke Bob, who started his council racing career in the early '80s as a backup auto sparkie.
Six-Stroke Bob fumed: "The organisers of this race are basically saying that if your local council doesn't perform like a turbo-charged Ferrari, all its residents and ratepayers will be run down and rolled right off the road, and all cyclists and pedestrians will be run over."
The RACQ is believed to be concerned about the ability of Queensland's existing road infrastructure to safely host the Local Government Grand Prix Elections.
A spokeswheel for the RACQ claimed that the Department of Main Roads did not have the funding budget to upgrade a statewide network of roads fit only for horses and wagons to Grand Prix racetrack standard.
This is corroborated by the opinion of the Outback Council Car Clubs, who insist that their local race routes are really suitable only for 4WDs, utes, road trains and motorcross bikes.
A spokeswheel for the Outback CCC said, with laconic understatement typical of the brigalow seat belt: "You try and race a Ferrari anywhere west of the Great Divide and it will end up at the wreckers and its driver will end up in the local cemetery."
The Local Gearclash Accelerators of Queensland (LGAQ), the organisation that used to be responsible for local government election race meetings, believes that municipal motor sport has been ruined forever.
Members of Team Noosa and other disqualified clubs held a protest car rally through the city streets of Brisbane last Friday.
The theme song of the protest campaign, already getting widespread airplay, is: "Vroom-Vroom! Boom-Boom! Vroom-Vroom! Let's Go Back To Our Council Chambers Room!"
Hamish has two MySpace websites. On one he writes about poetry, writing, music and other interests such as performing, reading, history and archaeology link to site, while the other focuses on amalgamation and other local issues link to site.
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Recent Comments
Premier Beattie wants to have his way regardless of how the people feel about it.
Civil disobedience is the only option left to us because all other avenues were taken out of the local government reform legislation.
It is going to take massive numbers to join actions of defiance to overcome this misguided, stubborn and seriously flawed policy.
Street protests, submissions, petitions, emails, letters to the editor, fundraising for legal action and other forms of objection have only made Team Beattie bunker down or offer token compromises such as 'iconic places' legislation.
I believe the Qld Government has to be pushed by the people to abandon forcible mergers altogether.
So we can all vote against the new councils at the local government elections next March.
The people should turn out en masse at the polling booths, cast informal votes and mark the ballot papers 'Vote 1 Noosa Council' (for instance). Don't vote for any candidate for the merged councils!
The new councils should be denied any recognition, so all correspondence, rate notices, etc. should be responded to with a rejection letter that reads:
"Until there is a fair and democratic process for local government in Qld upholding my rights as a ratepayer, resident and voter, I will deal only with my local council (e.g. Noosa). The establishment of your unwanted and unwarranted entity as a new local/regional government was forcibly imposed on me, regardless of my rights, and I refuse to recognise you on any grounds as legitimate.
I have no intention of co-operating with you. I live in the local government area of (e.g. Noosa).
I consider the only option that is left to me is a campaign of civil disobedience directed against you and the state government that imposed you on me, until such time as the previous local council is fully reinstated and restored to the community in its original condition.
Real local government reform will only take place with the consent and goodwill of the people in a full and genuine democratic process.
Do not contact me again, as no relations with you will be entered into, and any further correspondence from you will be returned to sender."
Such a campaign of civil disobedience could only be effective if it is taken up by a huge grassroots groundswell across Qld.
I will get back to you later on the issue of secession, which is another matter altogether, but suggest you look at Lonely Planet's Guide to Micronations or research this on wikipedia.
Since Qld doesn't want us to continue as we want, and is so intent on rearranging us whether we like it ot not, then why should we carry on being part of the supposedly better Qld when we already have so much concern, doubt and distrust of it?
regards
danksta downunder