A whole lotta fish for $20!
We got home from holidays only to find young Jackson’s fish tank down eight fish. He came to me with tears welling in his eyes and said “all my fish are dead, Dad, what am I going to do?” I moved to remedy the situation and ease the emotional burden on my ten year-old son.

“Don’t worry, mate, Mum’ll take you to the pet shop after school and you can get some more, okay?” He gathered himself and said with a half smile, “ooookay”.

Needless to say, right after school the first words out of his mouth to his mother were “pet shop”. And off they went. This is where Kym made the fatal mistake of giving Jackson a $20 note to go in the shop and buy his fish.

Fifteen minutes later he returned to the car with one gigantic fish the size of a Murray River Cod that had to be strapped to the roof racks to be taken home. Note: never give a 10 year-old $20 to go into a pet shop.

Speeding fine
I’m not proud of it, but I was caught speeding on the way back from 1770. I was over the 100 clicks on the Isis Highway when I came over the rise and face to face with a brightly-coloured highway patrol flashing his lights and indicating that he was going to turn around and pull me over.

Yes, I was in the wrong and, yes, he was the most polite person on earth who asked, “do you have any reason for speeding?” I was a little embarrassed and answered, “no, just diddly-bopping home”.

The nicest policeman in the world then said, “as a courtesy we offer you the right to come to the patrol car and view the speed that you were clocked at”. “No thanks,” I said sheepishly. “Can I phone a friend or ask the audience?”

Nostalgia Town
How exciting, they’re about to develop the old Nostalgia Town site into a housing estate. It should be a great investment opportunity, particularly if you get in early around the graveyard putt-putt area.

Or better still you could travel back in time with Albert’s incredible time machine and get something right on David Low Way next to the old train tracks that went past the rusted Dinosaur frame and into the tunnel.

I myself would probably prefer something on the water overlooking the pond where remote control boats were. Hurry, blocks are selling past... er... I mean fast.

Not funny, Jamie!
Have you ever tried to be funny and had it fall flat? You know, that moment when you’ve said your humorous little piece to someone and they think you’re serious?

Well this happened to me just the other day. I pulled up outside of Zinc FM and there was a Sea FM street vehicle parked outside with a very attractive blonde driver thumbing through a refedex. As my car is heavily sign written with “Zinc FM” I got out and gave her my best line.

“Oi!” I yelled, pretending to be mildly annoyed, “you can’t park there!” In my mind she was supposed to turn and look at the great Jamie Dunn and think how funny and personable I was.

Instead, she turned meekly as if she was in trouble from her Dad and said apologetically, “I’m just going to be a minute”. I thought to myself, “she’s completely missed my wonderful sense of humour and thinks I’m a grumpy old fart”. Perhaps I should stick to just talking to the over 50s.

The dam facts
I went to the antidam meeting at The J in Noosa on Thursday night. I’ve been against the dam right from the start, which puts me a day in front of Cate Molloy. My opposition so far has been on emotional grounds: it just doesn’t feel right, if you know what I mean.

But after seeing the facts revealed at that meeting, I can’t see how anyone with a modicum of intelligence could possibly defend the decision to build a dam at Traveston crossing. As Molly Meldrum says, “do yourself a favour” and avail yourself of the facts about the dam.

What the government’s telling us just doesn’t hold water. Nor will that bloody dam.