Believe me, guys, it’s in your best interest to take extreme care of your partner’s health, otherwise you’ll find yourself in the same predicament I’m in at the moment.

Kym twisted her ankle while exiting the house. Better than that, she actually broke a bone in her foot and is now immobile.

You know what that means? I cook, I clean, I do homework – yes, me the great Jamie Dunn actually helping with school projects, making sure lunches are packed, sports gear is packed and bus passes are found and super-glued to their wrists.

Failure to do so means a flurry of panicked phone conversations trying to get someone, anyone, to take them to school.

It all got too much for me mid-week, so I stopped at the Caltex at Bli Bli and bought them Mars Bars for dinner … is that so wrong?

Dr Haneef

Call me completely stupid but is most of the evidence in a suspected terrorist cell in an entirely different language?

And call me naïve but when was the last time you gave your SIM card to someone to use?

All the bleating and moaning from different sides of politics is getting to me.

I’ve got an idea: Why doesn’t everyone sit down and shut up and let the people we depend on to protect us do just that.

I know it’s a radical thought but what do ya say, people?

Nanna … please!

I was completely taken aback the other day while waiting at the counter of Mitre Ten Hardware in Coolum behind a lovely elderly lady carrying a walking stick.

She was chatting to the guy serving and included me in her conversation.

“I follow rugby union,” she said. “The worse thing for me is my son in law. He’s a Kiwi and always calls before a game to taunt anyone who’ll listen.”

All of a sudden she turned to address me. “Don’t write me up in your column now, will you Jamie, but you look like a league man to me and what’s that all about?”

She protested: “If you ask me it’s just five bums in the air and kick!”

Oh to be young again

Ten-year-old Jackson has been watching Pirates of the Caribbean, followed by Pirates of the Caribbean and finishing off with, yes, Pirates of the Caribbean.

So taken is he with Captain Jack Sparrow, so completely consumed by tales of pirates and adventure that he asked his brother Josh to drive him to the beach so that he could bury an old chocolate tin that he’d filled with his idea of treasure in the sand.

Josh must have had a moment of weakness because that’s exactly what they did.

If you really want to find it on Coolum Beach there is a detailed map of where the chest is tattooed on Joshua’s scalp!

Government arrogance

I know there was very little choice at the last election but aren’t we paying for re-electing the same government now?

We’re being handed life-changing decisions on dams and council amalgamations without any consultation at all, and if you dare criticise you get a good dose of derision for your trouble.

Believe me, if anyone can recognise arrogance it’s got to be me.

I travelled to Brisbane for the protest march with Peter Beattie’s words ringing in my ears: “Some mayors will make as much noise as they can to get elected to the supercity board.”

I personally think Bob Abbot is so far above his counterparts that baseless barbs like that will only serve to strengthen his resolve.

Pure genius

I have never seen 13-year-old Max work so hard at his school work in my life. My God, he was possessed.

I heard him in the garage, full voice, doing some sort of speech project. I saw him at the kitchen table correcting notes; he didn’t go anywhere near the PlayStation for two straight days.

I remember thinking: “He’s turned the corner, he is actually enjoying school and doing extra work.”

Three days passed and we were sitting at the dinner table, just him and me. “How’s it going at school?” I asked.

“It’s going really well, Dad,” he gushed. “Did you hear I won the speech prize?”

“That’s fantastic son,” I gasped. “What was the prize?”

And here’s the rub. He said proudly: “The winner doesn’t have to do any homework for three weeks.”

Suddenly it all made sense to me.