I received an emergency call from my wife. She gave me specific instructions to drive immediately to the school and pick up eight-year-old Poppy, who once again was covered in nits.

As a parent, this situation makes you feel not only uneasy but very unclean. Oh you make light of it when you walk into the foyer of the school but that’s only to offset the stares and whispers.

Upon being quizzed, Poppy admitted that she had said to the teacher: “My head’s itchy, Miss.”

Naturally, I was suspicious that my little angel was on to the fact that the slightest suspicion of nits will get you a free pass home. Unfortunately for Poppy, that’s not what happened.

I met my wife at Sunshine Plaza. Kym had been to Priceline and got those chemicals that smell like dog wash that you de-nit with.

Poppy was given the full treatment in the ladies and dropped back to school an hour later smelling like a cattle dog from Caboolture.

Where’s our computers?

Even though I didn’t vote for him, I am so excited about Kevin, our new prime minister.

Mainly because of the promises he’s made and vowed to keep. Being a believer of the “Greed is good” mantra and loving his promise that every child will have a computer as part of his education revolution, I’ve been checking the mailbox every day waiting for the delivery of five new laptops (one for each of my children, thanks Kev).

I’m beside myself with excitement waiting for his announcement that interest rates are about to go down, coupled with his declaration of war on the Japanese for invading our waters and killing humpbacks.

You go girl!

Sunday’s truckie brekky

A truck-driving friend of mine wanted to catch up for brekky while he was up here last weekend just to make sure I was still alive.

On Sunday mornings all my kids do nippers at Marcoola Surf Club, so out of convenience I said: “Let’s meet there and we’ll find somewhere close.”

What luck, one street over on the corner of Lorraine and Marcoola Esplanade is a brand new café called Bulli.

We sat in there, relaxed, read the papers, ran a few people down (as is my wont) and had avocado and fetta on sourdough bread with a nice cup of tea. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

That’s because it was.

Mark it down as a must-do.

Proud dad

When we first shifted to the Sunshine Coast my son Jackson was struggling at school.

He was having major problems with his reading and once even asked his teacher: “How do I spell the letter A?”

So you can only imagine how it felt for me to see him on stage making his acceptance speech after being voted junior school captain this week. He has come such a long way, thanks to the dedication of Mrs Atkinson, Mrs Hudson and Mr Symes.

They did all the work and I did all the crying.

Mixed emotions

My wife Kym begged me not to tell this story, but the fact is it happened. I have started cardiac rehabilitation at Buderim Hospital.

The professionals tell me I’m handling the emotional after-effects of a heart attack incredibly well. But according to them, it sometimes takes the partner nearly 12 months to deal with it.

As my wife is a full 17 years younger than me, it came as no surprise when she turned to me over a cup of tea and said: “Don’t have another turn, I think I’m too young to take care of someone who’s wheelchair-bound.”

Naturally, my point was: “If she was silly enough to take the vow in the first place she’s more or less duty-bound, don’t you think?”

Bucket of bitumen

Not too many more sleeps before the brand new Maroochy River bridge is open.

And I’m very excited, given that I almost disappeared with my scooter into a massive pothole that is on the northern side directly as you go onto the old one.

Surely someone can take a bucket of bitumen over and fill it up in their lunch break?