I was gobsmacked while visiting the Yandina dump the other day. The company ute next to me unloading at the general waste face was sign-written with the word “Enviro” in its company name.

Yet what was being thrown out as landfill was empty cardboard boxes which, to my knowledge, are probably the easiest thing in the world to recycle.

I couldn’t help but think of the hypocrisy of this company that boasts an environmentally friendly product yet cannot even be bothered to hide the fact that it doesn’t recycle.

Perhaps if you bang the drum that your product is better for the world then you should dump the cardboard containers in an “unmarked” car. That way, it won’t be as obvious that you don’t practice what you preach!

Steve’s statue

Like everyone else in the world, I admire what Steve and Terri Irwin have achieved and, in my own small way through Zinc 96, I am trying to keep his vision alive as best I can.

I applaud the council for the public recognition they’re showing Steve with the Steve Irwin Way and now a marble statue on the Esplanade at Mooloolaba. But for me, I must say, the statue just doesn’t look right.

Here I go, completely alienating the artist who chiselled away at the marble for months.

But while I’m in an offending mood, I didn’t like the bronze one they unveiled at Australia Zoo either. Is it just me?

Family Christmas

Every year my older brother Michael, who seems to be addicted to researching the family tree, gets everyone together.

This year it was at my house. Twenty-four nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters-in-law and new babies all descended on my house at 11 o’clock on the dot for the obligatory family photo and lunch.

With absolutely no support from within (Kym had taken the kids to nippers for three-and-a-half hours) I prepared two lamb roasts, thousands of vegetables, two hundred bags of ice, lemonade, Fanta, beer and very cheap wine.

Like a plague of locusts they swarmed, ate everything on the table, smiled at the camera and left for another year ... bah humbug.

Am I getting old?

Family, friends and Zinc management have asked this question since I drove to Billy Hyde Music at Maroochydore and bought myself a ukulele. Not only did I buy the instrument, but a “how to play” book and DVD as well.

Even my kids gave me the strangest looks as I started to strum the tiny instrument.

Actually, against my frame it looks like a wooden brooch. I have decided that this Christmas I will master the ukulele and amaze family and friends with witty renditions of “Pearly Shells”, “Tiptoe through the Tulips” and “Cheryl Moana-Maree”.

You can just imagine how popular I’m going to be at the retirement village. Look for my new album “Jamie Dunn’s Incontinent Party Hits” as played on the ukulele available at Sanity Sunshine Plaza and all good scrap-booking shops.

Council inspection

There was a card in my letterbox from the Maroochy Shire Council pool inspection division.

I did what every other good ratepayer does – pretended it wasn’t there and avoided ringing to make an appointment.

But one day my mobile phone rang and it was them. I switched on the personality: “Why, yes, why don’t we meet tomorrow?” I gushed. “No problem.”

Just before he hung up I got a little sarcastic. “By the way,” I said, “Why is it that the council doesn’t fence the Pacific Ocean?

“Surely it’s easier for people to wander down into that than walk into my pool at home”?

I know, I sound facetious, don’t I? I was put in my place though, because the next day the inspector turned up with all the data and statistics relating to people walking into the ocean and drowning.

He was quick to point out that pool safety and responsible ownership is a priority.

Can’t you take a joke?