I took a call from Kym at 4pm the day before Max was to do a speech, as an Anzac, in front of the class. “Can you get something army-like for Max’s presentation?” she asked.

“You’ve left it a bit late,” I barked, “I might try the army disposals in Nambour.”

After two laps of the block I pulled up out the front of Nambour Disposals and Camping, walked in and was greeted with a friendly “can I help you?” from Mick, who was behind the counter.

“Yes I have to make my son look like an Anzac” I replied. Well, from that moment on Mick took up the challenge with gusto. “How about this?” he said, holding up a camouflage T-shirt, and then quickly, “No wait, I’m sure there’s a cheaper secondhand one down the back here.”

And so it went, until I had a complete Anzac outfit. I could be mistaken, but I think Mick was truly keen for Max to succeed in his assignment. Seriously, it was the best service I’ve ever had.

Jackson’s got it all planned
My 10-year-old, Jackson, whom I like to describe as “born on the wind and going where it takes him”, didn’t disappoint me on the way home the other day.

He was looking out the window, deep in thought, when he suddenly turned to me and said, “When I get married, my wife will go to work while I stay home, watch telly and make the bed.”

What the hell’s going on there? Rose looking wilted I’VE been looking at the unflattering photos of Merri Rose all week, right up until her sentencing. I thought she didn’t look unlike Ozzie Osborne at times.

But shock, horror! After all the arguments for and against and all the evil secrets she held to blackmail people with, she made it through with an agonising 12 weeks in prison.

Maybe she would have been better off murdering someone. With our justice system she probably would have got home detention.

Poppy’s happy and so am I
I guess it’s common knowledge that we had a house fire some months ago, when my little girl’s bedroom was gutted.

Well, yesterday, after 12 or so weeks, the builders finished and she moved back in. While the repairs were carried out, Poppy slept in our bedroom and more often that not I would wake up at 2am with her foot slamming down on my forehead, or her elbow angling into my temple.

But finally she’s gone and now the bed’s ours again…..er….um….Kym! Are you awake?

A blast from the past
Chatsworth State School holds a secret, and that is that I used to take out one of their teachers when we were at Salisbury High School together.

Her name is Tola. I have mentioned this several times on air bringing the spotlight, wanted or not, on her.

Karma is sometimes swift and severe, because a large blackand- white photo of me, looking somewhat evil and a little bit special at Salisbury High School, has arrived at Zinc 96.

It has been duplicated many times by a twisted workmate and is up on the walls as I write.

It’s cold out there
I’ve been riding a scooter to work all week as part of a promotion to raise money for the Cindy Mackenzie Breast Cancer Foundation.

I leave for work at 3.30am and it’s my first experience riding a scooter. Here’s my tip for you: the most important thing to remember when riding a scooter in the cold morning air are gloves and undies.

Are you pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, boys?

Just a little disappointed
I got a call from Beverly, who said she was a producer of television and would I mind very much if a camera crew came and interviewed me for their television show.

I felt my ego inflating at the mere mention of a camera. “Why certainly Beverly,” I gushed. “By the way, exactly which show is it for?” There was a slight pause and then Beverly said, “The History Channel”.

Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.