The Channel 7 Perth telethon could possibly be the only telethon still operational in Australia.

It raises money for the children’s hospital there and has done for 40 years. I was asked to take Agro over there to help celebrate.

Over the years they’ve had stars like Sammy Davis Jr, Whitney Houston, Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson.

This year was exceptional and is a credit to the Seven Network, which raised $6.5 million dollars.

When you think of how much good work can be done with that amount of money, perhaps our local stations should consider community involvement via a weekend telethon.

Mooch for a pooch

It’s a happy eighth birthday to my little girl, Poppy, who was born on this day.

She came to me and said, “Dad, I don’t want a party this year and I only really want one present.”

I must say I was taken aback, because usually anyone under 10 is greedy.

It didn’t take long for her to reveal her cunning plan. She continued: “All I want for my birthday, Dad, is a puppy.”

I know what you’re thinking: was I strong? Did I resist? Or was I pathetic and weak?

Anyway, can’t talk now, I’ve got to go and walk the new dog.

Even Porsche drivers pick

I pulled up at the lights beside a black Porsche Boxster driven by a young man with a square jaw and quaffed hair, his neck dripping with gold jewellery.

But it didn’t make any difference.

In the end he was not better than the rest of us cellar-dwellers, because he did what many people do at stop lights.

He started picking his nose. See? Money can’t buy you everything.

I’m so sick of elections

Whether it be Kevin Rudd, John Howard or any other politician, I’ve had enough already.

I know freedom and democracy are wonderful things, but I wish I’d never had the right to vote.

I’m sick of having to make up my mind every three years.

Can’t we just have a dictator who tells us what to do?

Why do we have to listen to promises from John Howard mimicked within seconds by Kevin Rudd?

Surely there’s a general in the military who’s brave enough to initiate a coup.

Or what about that guy who runs the rug shops? He seems genuine enough. It is time for a change.

Let’s get rid of the lot of them so we never have to vote again.

The bean counters are coming

You have to feel sorry for the Marcoola Chinese restaurant.

The business and the people are hidden by scaffolding surrounding work on the new building next door.

I took the family there the other night for a bit of lemon chicken and special fried rice.

I noticed the restaurant’s neon sign had been freshly shifted to the right, but the restaurant itself was sort of dwarfed by the new arrival.

It has taken a few years, but that commercial district at Marcoola is starting to fill with new businesses.

Thinking it might be a boutique or a sports shop or a Baskin and Robbins, I asked as I paid the bill: “What’s going up next door?”

The young guy behind the counter showed little emotion. He simply said “accountants”.

Pool talk hurts

I decided to do a few laps to start my body heading towards some level of fitness.

That’s why I was in the change room at the Cotton Tree pool last week.

There was only one other man in there, and he turned to me and said, “Well, I’ll be buggered. It’s Jamie Dunn.”

I knew his face, but couldn’t quite place him.

“I used to teach you at high school,” he said, not realising the emotional damage he was inflicting.

He looked superbly fit, well tanned and way younger than me, and he still had a full head of hair.

Where’s Dr Kevorkian when you really need him?