It’s sort of a case of what came first: the chicken or the egg?

I bought my eight-year-old Poppy a little motorbike.

Well, all the boys ride one and she was putting the pressure on.

Naturally, the first time she rode it, she left it switched on and flattened the battery. Try as I might, I couldn’t kick-start it.

I would love to be a real man but I just can’t cut it. I’m more into music and art than motorbikes and motor oil.

I went back to the store where I bought it and said: “Is there an owner’s handbook that comes with these bikes so that I can recharge the battery and start the thing?”

The young lad behind the counter was so confident when he told me the handbook was more than likely under the seat.

I asked: “And how do I remove the seat?”

Quick as a flash, he shot back across the counter: “Oh you’ll find all those directions in the handbook!” And then we both said together: “Under the seat.”

Local scouts come clean

Last Saturday morning at the grand opening of Your Friendly Grocer at Imbil, the carwash was run by the local scouts.

I met young Tom and his mate Joe. I showed some interest and started a polite conversation with the two boys.

“Did your carwash go well?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” they said with beaming smiles, “it was great – we got really, really wet … sweet!”

Pain? Girls, you wouldn’t know what pain is!

Women reportedly have a higher pain threshold than men and often say things like: “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the pain of childbirth.”

Well ladies, just yesterday I found a man pain that is 10 times worse than giving birth.

After brushing my teeth yesterday morning I cleaned my toothbrush under the tap and ran my thumb backwards across it.

All of a sudden a minute missile of Colgate blue toothpaste launched itself into my right eye.

My God, I staggered around that bathroom squealing louder than Benny Pike doing star jumps in a high-riding unitard.

I moaned, I whined and I almost burst into tears with the pain of it all.

There is a positive, though. I do have the whitest right eye on the Sunshine Coast that just happens to smell like a pine forest.

Maks - mobile automotive key specialists

How small is the Sunshine Coast?

You may recall I had to apologise to Matt at Mr Minute because he took four days to re-sole my RM Williams boots and I made a cheap joke saying that he should be called “Mr Week”.

Well, my friend Courtney lost her car keys and needed some assistance so she called Maks – Mobile Automotive Key Specialists. They turned up and cut one on the spot.

An incredible service, when you think about it.

The guy was so polite, too. He shook my hand and said: “Hi, I’m Jason, Matt’s brother from Mr Minute.”

I smiled sheepishly and introduced him to the lovely Courtney.

By the way, Maks is a great idea – they drive to your car and cut a new key!

But whatever you do, don’t tell them Jamie Dunn sent you.

Sunrise in Beijing

Now usually I don’t mind Mel and Kochie in the morning but since they have decided to broadcast out of Beijing this week, I feel at times they are bordering on insulting my intelligence.

Mel’s “cutting edge” story on supermarket shopping in Beijing even bored my pet blue tongue lizard. Not to mention Kochie’s bowel-shattering piece on the art of cupping.

This is where the air is removed from a glass jar and is strategically placed on your back, resulting in your back skin being sucked up into the jar, supposedly removing toxins.

In Kochie’s case, it seems to have drained his talent.

Seen about town

A well-known charity worker has been spotted regularly parking in the handicap parks to get a better spot.

Careful dear, next week I’ll name you.