We've all experienced those cold calls from someone in Mumbai telemarketing at dinner time.

So it was the other day when none of us could be bothered answering the phone, preferring to stay watching our movie in the lounge room.

As 11-year-old Jackson is almost rock bottom in the pecking order, he was voted phone answerer.

He answered in his usual style, “Hello, Jackson Dunn speaking.”

This was followed by a few “huh’s” and “oh’s” then “all right, I’ll tell them”.

He turned to face the lounge room and bellowed, “There’s a man on the phone who says we’ve won a holiday to the Caribbean!”

The six remaining members of our family turned and said in unison…“Just hang up!”

Get out the toothbrush
Just how long does it take the council to remove graffiti from our bridges?

For example, the new Wises Road bridge, you know the one that’s green with blue lights, has had the same graffiti message on it for months now.

Surely we can find some prepubescent, pimply-faced, red-headed juvenile vandal to scrub it off with Mr Muscle and a toothbrush as part of his community service order.

It was a sign
I could tell that the council workers preparing the new road at Maroochy airport were rushed.

How you may ask? Well, as I approached the worksite, the large electronic digital sign flashed its message at me… “Drive with crare”.

I’ve got mail
This email arrived for me, I think it speaks for itself.

Hi Jamie,
Always love your page in the Daily. I was hoping you could say something about the Coles and Woolworths no home delivery service. We have had a lovely dear little old man (with a pram, yes, a stroller) and his wife do our home delivery. Now he has bowel cancer, and is in hospital. Coles and Woolworths say they won’t be having any more home delivery until he comes back, if at all. On the notice at Coles, it says six months, so we will have to wait and see.

For me, it’s cheaper than a taxi, so I really miss this service, maybe you could get something done for us by writing about it in your column. They say they can’t get anyone else to do the job. I find that hard to believe.
Sandy

Just lie down, Sally
How about the Olympic exuberance of tongue-pierced Australian hurdler Sally McLellan?

It surely was a great race, and a great achievement, but Pat Welch’s interview immediately after the race confirmed for me that young Sally may have jumped one too many hurdles that day.

I’m all for happiness, but only in small doses. I’m afraid jumping up and down on the spot for 10 minutes straight is a little too much for me.

Well, one good thing
Many of my friends have been struck down by this flu virus that is currently the scourge of the Coast.

Sixteen-year-old Stella had it, and within days had given it to her mother and most everyone at her school.

Kym retreated to the bedroom for a full three days straight, while I was forced to cook.

Thank you North Shore Seafoods for the fish and chips and Marcoola Chinese for the chicken and sweet corn soup.

Both girls are back on their feet, and thanks to God, without their voices.

Held to ransom
Because I start early in the morning, I generally frequent the midnight to dawn garages for supplies on the way to work.

I couldn’t help but notice the prices that these establishments put on their food.

Now if someone’s open at three in the morning I expect to pay for the convenience, but please, $1.50 for a banana is a little much.

For if it is $1.50 for one banana, that makes it more than $10 for a hand.

And something like $28,000 for an entire bunch.

Changing shape
Have you noticed that the Maroochydore roundabout, what with the new road works, is now a square?

I think it’s time I bought a tow truck.