I couldn’t believe my eyes when the day after the council finished widening and repainting the bus stop down the road from my place it was crudely grafittied by someone with the brain power and personality of a used chux.

So disgusting are the words used that the mind boggles as to where these painters from the dark side actually grew up.

Truly, the penalties for these people need to be doubled, no matter what they are.

I am so sick of seeing these social parasites still active in our community.

Not quite snakes on a plane

I wonder what went through Fluffy and Blacky the guinea pigs tiny little minds as they cowered in the corner of their cage on the front lawn while seven-foot Cyril the carpet snake tested every corner of their enclosure for the slightest weakness in their security perimeter.

You can only imagine the excitement this caused among the children when they saw the snake on the guinea pig cage, hissing through his tooth while eyeing off the protein: “Hello, breakfast.”

Jackson and Poppy came running up the stairs, shouting at the top of their voices: “It’s going to eat the guinea pigs – help, come quick.”

Now Kym was just a little reluctant to get anywhere near the damn thing for fear of being slowly chocked to death by something that didn’t match her shoes.

The snake did eventually disappear off into the bush but his visit is not without repercussions. Fluffy sits at the wire just staring and Blacky has developed a pronounced stutter.

Twin Waters turn-off

The council inspectors are out in force most weekends, booking people for selling their cars on the side of the road.

Now I love seeing bargains for sale as I drive by and personally have no problem with people flogging their wares roadside.

A popular spot for this is Settlers Park, Pacific Paradise.

It’s by a group of four mango trees that someone planted many years ago, far too close together, just as you turn right to go to Twin Waters, but these days I see more council workers than cars.

I think it’s a shame that you can’t put out a sign that says, “Mower repairs – Number 22” without copping a fine.

Bob’s a nice guy

I had the pleasure of opening Tewantin State School Year 7 class’s Wetlands Project on Tuesday.

Big Bob arrived the same time as I did – 2pm on the dot.

We walked in together, looking uncannily like twins.

For some reason Bob was asked to speak to the children first. I admit it, my nose was a little bit out of joint but he is the Lord Mayor.

In fact, he impressed me no end that day, not just with his passion and knowledge of the Noosa Wetlands but with his sensitivity for his Year 7audience.

He was waxing lyrical about the Noosa River and the need to take great care of it when he suddenly stopped as he noticed a boy’s face he knew and said “Hi Sam, good to see you here” and then he continued. “Young Sam sometimes plays drums in my band.”

Naturally, all eyes went to where Sam was sitting and it wasn’t hard to notice just how proud that young boy was for the Lord Mayor to have singled him out.
For mine, it shows the quality of the man beneath the robes.

Back to school

You are probably wondering how a story of what Rob my garbo gave me for Christmas relates to my children going back to school.

First things first, this Christmas Rob gave me a little red electronic button that when pressed announces that it has detected “Bullshit” – yes, it is the one and only “Bullshit detector”.Very funny.

It says things like, “Warning bullshit factor defcon 5”, and in a Texan accent: “Aw, geez that sounds like Bullshit.”

The reason it relates to back-to-school week is that unbeknown to me, Poppy put it in her bag and took it for “show and tell”.