Dick Smith says of convicted terrorist David Hicks and I quote “I believe he is basically a decent Australian like his father, that we know well, and I don’t believe that he has ever been a supporter of terrorism.”

Of course not Dick, and while I’m on it, I think your name in this case is quite appropriate because speaking as a decent Australian myself, I have never been photographed with a bazooka on my shoulder.

I have never fought with the Mujahadeen or the Taliban for that matter and I didn’t get to meet Osama Bin Laden three times (a man that even the mighty nation of America can’t find) and describe him as a good bloke while training in one of his camps.

Apparently Dick is going to try and help Hicksy get a job.

Here are some suggestions Dick, I thought maybe plumbing because I know David can carry a piece of pipe on his shoulder, or how about in one of the stores that carries your name, he’d have to be good at wiring up technical stuff surely.

News doesn’t travel so fast in Fiji

Since my well publicised heart attack, I have been trying to call a close friend of mine in Fiji.

Elia Besikula and I started a production company in Suva so as to assist and train indigenous Fijians to enter the workforce.

Naturally we became very close but communication in Fiji depends largely on pelicans landing on the aerial or the string being tight enough between the two soup tins we are using so he can actually hear me speak.

Finally the other day at noon the planets were aligned and God smiled on me because he actually picked up the phone.

“Elia” I said, “It’s Jamie.” He became unnervingly excited “Oh bula bula bula bula Jamie” he gushed and then came the Fijian gold “It’s so good to hear from you my friend, I heard you had died.”

Snake still hungry

You may recall in last weeks column I told you the story of the carpet snake sitting on top of the guinea pigs cage looking for a tasty morsel but unable to find a way in.

Well that same snake has revisited Fluffy and Blacky every night for a week, so often has he come back that the three of them are now close friends laughing and joking with each other through the wire.

I suspect it won’t be long before Cyril snake asks them if it would be alright if he could just use their bathroom and given that a guinea pigs brain has been clinically proven to be the same size and capacity as say, someone like Dick Smith at the moment, their fury little butts will soon be toast.

Kevin 07 soon to get blame

Look I realise that the interest rate rise we just had relates back to the Howard Government but I must say I am enjoying watching Kevin 07 become Kevin 7%.

Everyone is telling us it’s going to get worse before it gets better and unfortunately for Kevin sooner or later we are all going to blame him.

Talk about timing Kev, if the truth be known, it’s more than likely that John Howard threw the election and gave it to you on a plate because he knew the hell what was coming.

At the risk of me being sarcastic, might I suggest you ask him to say sorry.

Daniel Morcombe Foundation

Continuing their great work in the community with stranger awareness programs, the Daniel Morcombe Foundation have purchased a trailer about the size of a horse float I am told.

They are inviting schools of any sort, pre schools, state schools, high schools to enter a competition to creatively paint it.

If you are a teacher and you think that your class has what it takes to create some trailer art you can contact the Daniel Morcombe Foundation on 0434 326 435 or danielfd@bigpond.net.au.

More power to Denise and Bruce for dealing with their tragedy and turning it into such a potent and powerful message for all of our children.