Jamie Dunn has buried his feet firmly in the sand as a columnist with the Daily. For two decades, Jamie has been the voice and personality of Australian TV’s most successful kids character Agro, winning 10 TV Week Logie awards. Cyclists riding for a fall
| Jamie Dunn
Every time I write a story about cyclists, I get phone calls and letters from angry riders, but the fact is, road warriors, I am dead right this time.
Last Saturday morning at 7.20, going north on the David Low Way, up the hill on the way into Coolum opposite Andrew Street, and on approach to the “gaggle” of cyclists riding – wait for – not one, not two, not three, not four but five abreast.
As Channel 7’s Andrew O’Keefe would say, let’s make a deal.
I’ll stop bagging you and obey the road rules myself, if you guys do the same. OK?
I stand corrected
A big thank-you to Jen, a “Dunn Diaries” reader who prefers to read my column on thedaily.com.au.
It turns out I got someone’s name wrong last week
That someone in particular was Brendan Nelson, the leader of the opposition.
Somehow I called him Brendan Fraser, but the question is: Should I apologise for my error?
One of them is a B-grade actor sprouting meaningless dribble in front on a camera, and the other, of course, is Brendan Fraser.
To market, to market
I went to the Caloundra markets in Bulcock Street with my son, Jackson, to kill some time while my other son, Max, competed in a surf carnival.
(Does that make me seem just a little shallow as a father?)
We walked down one side looking at the stalls and enjoying the sunshine, did a U-turn at the bottom of the road and checked out the offerings on the way back.
I stopped and asked one of the street vendors: “How’s it going today?”
He was quick with his reply.
“A lot of three Ps today,” he said.
I turned my head quizzically to the side, like an Alsatian that didn’t quite understand the command given to fetch.
“Three Ps?” I asked. “What are three Ps?”
He leaned forward across his counter and said under his breath: “You know, people that pick up, put down and piss off.”
Yes, I am getting old
I heard on the radio this week that Cornelia Rau was to receive up to $3 million in compensation.
I thought to myself, man, how come the host of Channel 7’s Weakest Link gets so much money?
A half a day later, I realised that Cornelia Rau was an ex-flight attendant who was wrongly institutionalised and that Cornelia Francis hadn’t gotten rich for no particular reason.
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I enjoy my regular bike ride with all my friends. And the two of us do usually ride side by side. It's impossible to have an informed debate riding single file.
I have often wondered at the mentality of drivers coming up behind the two us yelling..."will the five of you get off the road."
This is just the sort of attitude that spawns racism. Do you label motorists because of a few bad ones ?
No deal Jamie, you are all wind mate, maybe you could consider getting on a bike yourself, get some of that weight off and save the rest of us tax payers some hospital bills.
As Roadrunner stated, shame you didnt get out on your bicycle instead of that silly Vesper you ride.
It saddens me to see you coming out in support of Big Bob and his quest for Mayor; as Bob is obviously pro cycling and you are not!
Pathetic.
Perhaps you could go back to Brisbane, then you wont have to whinge about us!
Now that's a great idea!!
So what if you have to wait 30 seconds or even 2 minutes before you can safely pass? Is it really that bigger deal?
All we hear from cyclists is whinge whinge about bikeways etc. How many cyclists are there on the coast compared to non-cyclists??
How many times have we all seen a 'gaggle' of cyclists riding 2-3 abreast. They are a danger on the road and if you want to have a chat while riding along - get in a car (they have two seats and you can chat and enjoy the view) or stop for a coffee somehwhere. Don't be selfish and create a traffic hazard.
Stop picking on Jamie becuase he has the guts to say what the majority think about cyclists. It's a free country.
I mean, REALLY ! Some people. This is just another form of bigotry...cycle vilification.
Now if there were ever a gaggle or the odd goose around, it's got to be those pedestrians.
I suppose you are one of those brave people that yell abuse at our womenfolk when they are riding on their own, or even better maybe you are the one that punched one of our 70 year old's down a bank breaking his arm.
No we don't ask for special treatment just that there are more of us on the road to piss people like you off. I'll wager you are an overweight slob soaking up our taxes on high medical bills to support your unfit lifestyle.
Don't forget to thank us nicely for paying extra taxes to subsidise your petrol while you contribute to global warming and road congestion!
Of course car drivers never break the rules do they? That's why the police spend even more of our taxes manning speed cameras and breathalysing drunks.
You are obviously not aware of the road rules either, cyclists by law are permitted to travel two abreast with one overtaking, that was three when I went to school.
How many times do you see cyclists travelling single file when there is no shoulder, simply as a courtesy to motorists.
But then I suppose you wouldn't have noticed. Maybe we should all start riding two abreast everywhere, just to piss you and your mate off even more!
You have been got at, someone has brainwashed you. Was it those confounded cyclists? Is no one safe from them anymore? Jamie help! We have to stop them cloning themselves, they will be everywhere soon, taking over the roads, five abreast like two wheeled Triffords!
You make about as much sense as Monty Python!
And we shouldn't pick on Jamie because he has the guts to say what the majority think??
Well Riley, you are right AND wrong.
Wrong in the sense that the majority DONT think like him;
yet right in the sense that he HAS got the "GUTS!"
A Vespa is good, better than driving a car all the time so he's off the hook with that, in my opinion.
Also, I wouldn't say he's anti-cycling either, just asking cyclists to follow the road rules, which is more than reasonable, it's extremely important and it would lift our reputation.
"Maybe we should ban the cars and ONLY have gaggles of happily chattering cyclists, scooters, mopeds & Rollerblades everywhere. I suppose then that the chattering gaggles could start picking on the pedestrians for a change." (atapro from Noosaville)
Wow. Then we would be tolerated on busy roads!
From a cyclist.
PS: "I went to the Caloundra markets in Bulcock Street with my son, Jackson, to kill some time while my other son, Max, competed in a surf carnival.
"(Does that make me seem just a little shallow as a father?)"
Yep. LOL
PPS: Go Bob
I was trying to point out the frustrations of drivers when they see bicycles riding abreast. Ok I accept that 2 riding abreast is law. I'll take your word for it. But seeing a large group of cyclists riding sometimes 2-4 abreast is downright dangerous.
The main culprits are the "professional" cyclists in their tight pants, head down, bum up and for the life of me I can't see why they have to ride on the Motorway when it clearly says to cycles.
And there is no reason to resort to name calling. I won't call you a gaggle of cyclists although I am sure there is a correct term out there somewhere.
This has stirred up debate hasn't it. But if you have a point of view, and you do, keep it clear, concise and clean.
PS: I agree with you about those nanby pambies in their lycra skinsuits with funny Italian writing all over them...haunting the cafes in their clunking studded shoes. Very strange indeed. But they are a much better than those ones who wear nothing but a pair of Budgie Smugglers and and a pair of clunking studded shoes.
I believe that the appropriate attire for cycling is a loose fitting, dirty tee shirt, baggy shorts and sneakers...without studs. You should avoid any form of foreign writing anywhere on this outfit.
Sorry to disappoint you, Marty. I saw this gentleman driving a people mover outside Suncity Bowl in Maroochydore some months back.
If the Vespa WAS ridden all the time, I would accept your point.
Speeding - too many to count, especially at roadworks and on the highway, and one ute on the Nambour connection road who must have been going at least 140kph;
Tailgating - multiple offences, including one driver on the highway who must have been less than 10cm away from the other car (in the slow lane mind you), so bad that I actually took down his rego;
Running red lights - about every second motorist, including bus drivers, and once, er, me (though it was orange when I went into the intersection);
Not indicating correctly - just about everyone, especially on roundabouts;
Talking on mobile phones - I once counted people talking on mobile phones, and it was at least 10-20% of all motorists....
Cyclists riding more than 2 abreast - once, hearsay from a Mr Dunn in his newspaper column.
If I lost the bet that's too bad, but we all learn I guess. I also apologise for categorising overweight people, that is bad. Let's leave the categorising to the anti cycling lobby.
I have the answer for the Lycra Knights though. Lets put a giant skatebowl somewhere and they can ride around it all day instead of on the road, but don't forget to include a giant coffee shop, then they can all clump around that in their funny shoes as well.
Not sure what we are going to do with all the extra cyclists that will magically appear on our roads when the new council spends millions of dollars on cycle lanes and petrol gets up to five dollars a litre, but hey, you can't expect me to have ALL the answers! Although you could look on http://www.thedaily.com.au/news/2008/feb... might be some answers coming up there.
I ran into (not literally) a couple of young cyclists recently who had found a way to wear their Bluetooth Handsfree headsets under their helmets.
Now, my question is not so much about the legality or safety of this, but where do they keep the phone itself in their lycra pants without pockets. The mind boggles doesn't it. Is that actually padding sewn into the crutch, or a very nifty phone carrier ?
I know that this is the ideal answer to the problem of needing to ride side by side to have a conversation. You just ignore your riding partner and talk to someone else instead...at the top of your voice.
How would you send a text message with your phone in your crutch. That really would be an offence I think.
Actually to be serious and fair to LifeofRiley the politically correct term for the gaggle is a peleton. And yes the rest of us disagree just as strongly as you do about those that break the law. But nothing gets any minority group upset more than every one else being classified with the wrong doers.
There are thousands of other cyclists out there, grandmothers, grandfathers, working mothers and families with kids who use cycling as a means of keeping fit, to get to work and school. These people take their responsibilities seriously with regards to climate change and health issues. They leave their cars at home and 'cycle instead'. A lot of them go on Sunday outings just like others go to the beach.
Most of them behave with consideration and respect for their fellow road users, they very seldom run red lights, they don't talk on mobile phones while driving (apart from atapro's guys), they don't drink and drive, they don't smoke and force others to inhale their disgusting left overs. They use correct hand signals and look after one another. Some of them choose to ride in small groups for protection against the huge amount of abuse and injury they suffer daily on the roads. They are doctors, lawyers, teachers, uni tutors, scientists and others from all walks of life and they deserve some respect.
These are the ones you neglect to notice while you look for the peleton riders getting in your way for a few seconds.
If you were part of a small group that suffered as much abuse and assaults that we do you might well get a bit thin skinned. So might your mate.
I hope in future you might look a little harder at an issue before you make outlandishly stupid sweeping generalisations. And like Stelis give these people some credit for what they are trying to achieve and try not to get upset because you get 'held up' or a few seconds.
I was only making some observations based on a true story. I certainly was not taking a swipe at Jamie either.
Is it possible that you have also found a way to use your Bluetooth set while riding ? Is that the reason for the strong reaction to my little story?
Geese and peletons of the Coast unite !
Most of the top end, better name brands of bike shorts on the market come with a built-in pocket in the back for a cell phone.
Thankyou.
However, if you read my earlier posting about the appropriate attire for cycling you may understand why I wasn't aware of this.
Actually. I don't know why I have become the brunt of these blog comments. Where the bloody hell is Jaime. This was all his fault originally. I don't even know the man, and I am on the cyclists' side.
A long time ago in a galaxy far away there was an evil empire. The empire was ruled by Lord Joe Natoli and his lieutenant, Darth Jamie Dunn who had been seduced by the dark side of the force.
Hiding deep in space were the rebel Alliance who vowed to save the galaxy from a fate worse than death, the survival of the Maroochy Council. The hero of the rebel Alliance was a Lycra Knight called Fastargonaut who together with his sister the lovely Princess Jewel shaped a motley rabble of assorted Lycra Knights into a group known as the Peleton. The Lycra Knights were the masters of the force and vowed to reinstate Big Bob as the one true emperor.
There came the inevitable time when the battle to beat all battles had to be played out. The Rebel Alliance and it’s Peleton army met Darth’s army on the infamous Bridge to Nowhere with the Peleton moving five abreast at incredible speed on their high tech two wheeled envirofriendly speeders.
Darth’s army went after them through the asteroid belt on a fleet of highly sophisticated Vespas. The Vespas were looking set to catch the Peleton, but the Lycra Knights with their light sabres disguised as middle fingers pointing high above them screamed their frightening battle cry “Cyclist Vilification” and disappeared into hyper drive.
Wait for tomorrow’s Jamie Dunn Diaries when the next exciting episode will be revealed in…..
BIKE WARS!!!!
- Beautiful Roadrunner - you've missed your calling... Editor
I would also value your thoughts on the story about the Spandex sex god on this same site.
roadrunner! I want the next chapter of that story. Great imagination.
It is true to say I am not a cyclist as I spend too much time in front of this computer but I did have a great chat to the nice guy at Chancellor Cycles at Kawana when we purchased a shiny new bike for my daughter. He was very informative and answered our many questions with tolerance.
No it wasn't a racing bike but she is more than happy with her purchase which she rides to work everyday. See, we have a cyclist here.
Perhaps the way to achieve a peaceable solution is to ask the cycling community to be mindful of riding no more than 2 abreast if possible as they share the road with others.
For the record, I have never yelled at cyclists on the road male or female and don't intend to make it a practise now.
I too ask the question, Jamie where are you now? Come out of hiding. Peace be with you and may the Force never pick you up for speeding.
Never went for this 'Agro' stuff myself anyway. Not being a sex councillor (pun intended) I can't offer my usual high level of expertise on the sex God subject, sorry.
On a more serious note, the Suncoast Cycling Alliance will be working with clubs to improve some cyclists behaviour on roads when the road improvement campaign is won, I have talked to the convenor and they are serious about improving relations between cyclists and other road users.
This will be a multi pronged approach with the first campaign being to introduce proper cycle lanes and awareness zones so that cyclists can travel not only safely, but separately in some cases allowing motorists 'cycle free zones' where possible.
Obviously because Maroochy had fallen behind nationally in cycle infrastructure, election time (plus amalgamation) created a fantastic opportunity to bring about change.
There is a lot more to this than I have time for, but lowering dependence on cars, increasing active transport (both cycling and walking), peak oil, obesity and a community more willing to share space are our primary concerns.
So you see we do have an agenda and the more people on both sides we can get to realise we can live together in harmony, share space and regain our sense of humour like we have here, we will have made a difference.
May the Force be with you and may Atapro's peletons produce lots of little peletons, not to mention the geese, or was that gaggles (this is so confusing).
To "..ask those cyclists that break the law..."
I am still having a little trouble with your (and others) assumptions that all cyclists break the law. You make the point that you don't abuse cyclists, therefore you have washed your hands of the responsibility to affect change. I make the point that I uphold the law while riding my bike.
So do 98% of other cyclists. I am doing something about affecting change by lobbying hard and working my butt of for ALL parties. You see that as whinging.
Cyclists have developed a siege mentality because of the abuse. We get abused daily just for being on the road riding single file minding our own business. You and Jamie continue to ignore this.
Until we have a change of attitude we will not win this. While the abuse continues cyclists will continue to stick their finger up at motorists. So the situation is still lose, lose all round.
I notice you very conveniently let Heather_s' comments slide by without comment. This where the attitude problem lies, as a motorist you accept no responsibility for the actions of your lot.
How about we do make a deal between you and I and Jamie. You motorists stop abusing us cyclists and we will stop getting in your way! Now there's a win, win deal.
While you are about it how about you asking the motoring community to stop continually breaking the law, driving drunk and killing people.
One is a goose
Two is a pair of geese
Three or more is a gaggle.
When is a peleton not a peleton? Jamie would have us believe a peleton is five abreast, but I am not so sure, because if he had his Vespa goggles on he might have been seeing double, so in actual fact it might have only been two and a half abreast. Unless he was driving his people mover then that wouldn't count.
That poses a further question, what's a single file called? (if you say a mill file I'll brain you)
A single file is called a LINE !
Editor: has Jamie reached the record yet? 40 entries on the subject of nothing in particular? Do you know how many cyclists there are in the world? Well I think that we are eventually going to hear from all of them in this blog. I don't want to be here when they get all those people in China onto this.
I'm going back to sit in my car for a while to try to re-discover the meaning of life and cycling.
Ed: It's an impressive number of comments - but not quite a record. Interestingly enough, another one of our most commented on stories was also about cycling: http://www.thedaily.com.au/news/2008/jan...
There sure are a lot of spokes-people on the Sunshine Coast.
Loved the chat Atapro, love you Jamie - mwa, but please don't ask me to do another episode of Bikewars for a while, far too busy with other stuff now. You know how it is, life at the top is never boring and war is absolute hell!
Speaking of records we have another one coming up http://www.thedaily.com.au/news/2008/feb...
Ciao, gotta go - and thanks SCD, you have been wonderful as always.
I am certainly not defending what that particular group did as being correct, it is the few among us that continually run red lights, ride 5 abreast with no regard to fellow road users that are giving us all a bad name and I am sick and tired of coping the abuse directed at me for something that I did not do.
What has happened to go old fashioned values where men respected women and didn't yell abuse from an open car window......a gutless act if you ask me, if you have something to say, say it face to face not while traveling at 60km an hour, screaming obscenities while using sign language!
Hopefully there will come a time when lawmakers realise that incitement of this type leads not only to abuse, but death and injury on our roads. Then the Jamie Dunns of this world WILL become accountable.
Think about it Jamie, our women don't deserve this abuse, they are doing nothing wrong. Why don't you get on the case of the politicians who continue to ignore a safe structure on our roads so cars and cyclists can co-habitate more safely and with less frustration!
It is no wonder you have one foot in the grave. You have a very poor attitude towards the people in the world who want to live a fit and healthy life. Just because you don't look after yourself, then why put your anger onto us cyclists?
Your health problems are well known. But you don't hear about us whinging about the people like you and the burden you are to our health system. I am a tax payer and your poor health costs me money.
So get off your fat bum, start looking after yourself and stop being a burden on our society.
FA1...out.
"Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Your comments will be checked, for legal reasons, before being posted live.
Thanks again for contributing to the Daily's online community."
So how do you stand when an attention seeking blog author makes comments designed to incite anger against a section of the population? Where is the line? If he can suggest that cyclists should not be on the road (even though they were there first), can he also suggest that people in Muslim head gear not be allowed on public transport?
For your information the abuse and projectiles a cyclist cops on the road is real and with the number of lawyers that cycle, I can't wait for one to say enough is enough and sue the perpetrator and the media that incite it!
- I don't like your chances of that lawsuit being successful given the sort of comments made on blogs every day across the world. This is a forum that gives both sides an opportunity to have their say - nothing else. It's not designed to incite anything but discussion - Editor
No doubt about it the amount of abuse cyclists cop out on the roads has sure given rise to a siege mentality. There is also no doubt in my mind that the real responsibility lies with those who allowed our roads to become battle grounds in the first place by ensuring the motoring public feel that cyclists should be on pathways and NOT on roads.
This agenda was perpetrated in full daylight by stupid and arrogant councillors who felt they could better serve their constituents by voting to control funding in a way that ensured vote gathering for them.
This effectively (with the help of an inside anti cycling lobby) stopped road safety and community sharing dead in it's tracks.
The fact that we still get stupid comments from the odd columnist only reflects the ignorance that has followed on from this debacle.
Once we get things sorted, a new council and the will to take climate change and health seriously the infrastructure WILL be put into place and attitudes will gradually change.
This is the first step and with any battle some blood will be drawn, but in the end I am convinced that right will prevail.
Their help in giving us coverage for this campaign has been of the highest order. They didn't have to do it, but they did it and they did it with the utmost good grace. I would hate them to be put in the same position as we cyclists are with a blanket categorisation ie; 'the media'.
While they automatically lose a few brownie points for hiring the odd idiot columnist, even then we should be tolerant. Eventually the wheel will turn and the community as a whole will look on us with respect because of the amount of money we save and the real benefits both to health and emission control. The fools will either change their attitude or they will fade out because they become a bore. That day is fast approaching.
I have said it before and I will say it again.
Thank you SCD, you guys are legends.
But at least they're just squabbling amongst themselves now ( as geese are prone to do ). Can't do too much harm with that.
Please turn off the lights when you're finished fellas. If you ever do.
But your Pagani Zonda superbicycle would probably outrun a Vespa anyway wouldn't it ? Now that would make a great story. A race between the Vespa and the Pagani !! Would we get that onto Top Gear (Australian Edition) do you think ?
I'll let you know.
Perhaps you should call yourselves "Not the Rebel Alliance".
Great stuff though - I thoroughly enjoyed the good laugh - and now I know where all the goose and peloton comments come from... lol
By the way, peloton is spelt, well... peloton, not peleton.
Not only does peloton mean a "group of riders, but in Finnish peloton is an adjective that means "fearless and daring".
Actually, "fearless and daring" is probably a very good description for pelotons (groups of cyclists) on Sunshine Coast roads!
You people have converted me... and I'm not the only one.
Although never one to abuse riders on the road previously, now I actually give a thumbs-up (that's a thumb-up Jamie, not a finger-up) as I pass by... and most times get a return wave and a smile for my trouble.
I have a website and a policy page on cycleways at http://www.jeffwatson.com.au/16.html some may be interested in visiting.
I feel like I've just been assimilated by the borg!!
Jeff Watson.
Candidate for Division 8
"Power to the People"
Don't you make fun of my Pagani either, I worked hard to extract that from the Lifeline shop and I'll back it against a Vespa any day.
Mmm, the race sounds good, maybe we could call it Darth Dunn and his heavily overloaded Vespa takes on the skinny Pagani piloted by the bravest of Lycra Knights, the one and only Roadrunner! Or we could shorten it to Darth Heavyweight takes on Skinny Roadrunner. Now that would hit Top Gear!
Might have to handicap the Pagani though otherwise with Jamie's blurred vision he might think there is a gaggle of five Paganis.
I will have to consider fighting you for the Alliance leadership, this is serious stuff here. May I suggest goose feathers at 10 paces?
Fearless and daring, not me mate, I'm a real chicken. I would never race an overweight Vespa if my life depended on it, I was only joking. But I am horribly disappointed because if Atapro and I are making Jamie's blog more popular then we have failed miserably.
Now here's MY serious voice (I have got one Atapro). Thanks Jeff, you're one of us mate!
Not as dangerous as your true attack goose, but still......
I once got "hit" by a bombardment from one of those policans while driving over the bridge and wow... let me tell you, you do NOT want to be under that on a bike!
So if you do find your way through the scrub to that nice wide cycleway over the bridge, look up!
Come to think of it, looking up may not be such a good idea... lol
Of course, don't get policans mixed up with politicians, will you?
Although telling them apart IS difficult except for the extra "iti" in the spelling, because most politicians seem to try to place themselves in a high position and then act just like those damned policans do!
Jeff W.
You and I had better get some work done Jeff else you will never win the election and I will never get fit enough to beat that Vespa!
Look, both of you. A polican is a toilet in Parliament House. Or a general term referring to the special language which they use in parliament. The two meanings of the word are often confused.
And my granddaughter thinks that those big birds are called helipans. But then that may also have something to do with toilets. She talks about toilets a lot.
That's my final word. Finito, finis, finitum. All words which you people obviously don't have in your vocabulary.
I think I will pass on the column roadrunner. I work best freelance. But Ed. knows where I am if he needs me.
- I sure do... - Editor