You can’t help but notice the number of electoral signs posted just about everywhere all over the Sunshine and Cooloola coasts.

Most of these signs are for potential mayoral and council candidates. They are attached to street signs, stuck in roundabouts and even on the side of the Sunshine Coast Motorway.

My question is: Do the council signage inspectors – who use threats and fines to pick on poor buggers trying to sell their cars or repairing mowers in their backyard sheds, with a little sign out the front – actually chase the lord mayor and fine him for illegal signage?

I think not.

Red Cross misses out

I did a complete cleanout of clothes, shoes, kids’ clothes, toys and books.

Being very community conscious, I dropped them off at the Red Cross collection point right outside their front door.

I continued on down the road and did a U-turn at the roundabout.

As I drove back past, I saw all the bags that I had loaded on to the verandah being loaded into the back of a ute by an enterprising, yet not so community conscious, obviously needy citizen for his garage sale.

It’s not the Dunn thing

My 16-year-old, Stella, made an amazing announcement at dinner the other night.

She said: “After school I want to go on to university.”

“What,” I exclaimed as I slammed my hand down on the table top, rattling the plates and spilling the peas

“I won’t have it. No Dunn has ever gone past Grade 12 and it’s not about to start now.”

“Well what do you want me to do?” she asked.

I continued: “One. Get a job as a check-out chick – preferably eight items or less. Two. Find a boyfriend real quick. Three. Get pregnant as soon as possible and stay home like every other woman in our family.”

Does this theory fit?

I made a joke on Zinc 96 the other day, saying I didn’t want any thin, good-looking people listening to my show, I only wanted fat people.

I got a letter of complaint from a listener who obviously spends a lot of time working out at the gym.

He pointed out that my diabetes and heart attack were probably linked to my lack of exercise and bad diet.

Oh …. der, do you think so?

Here is my theory. We are all born with a set number of heart beats; if you go to the gym or exercise in any way you speed up your heart, therefore wasting more of your quota.

What do you think? Does it fly?

The kid’s got a problem

Out of compassion for my son, who took offence at the use of his name in a recent column, I will insert the name Nathan for Joshua’s.

Nathan’s car battery was flat when he went to start it.

“What’s wrong with it, Dad? It won’t start,” he queried.

I think you have probably left something on in the car overnight, was my educated guess.

“I am not that bad,” he barked.

I got the jumper leads and started it for him, then noticed that the interior light had been left on.

I brought that to his attention and reminded him to turn it off.

Two days passed and Nathan had come back from a job expo at Kawana, at about nine at night, parked his car out the front and walked down to his mate’s place.

As I took the garbage out, I couldn’t help but notice he had left the interior light on again.

As he had stayed at his mate’s place overnight, I left in the morning secure in the knowledge that where teenagers are concerned, the lights are on but there is definitely no one home.

Hot deal on chillies

Free chilli, and I’m not talking about Che Guevara. A friend of mine went to one of the major supermarkets and bought one red chilli.

On the way through the checkout, it was weighed for costing but because it was so light the computer marked the price down to $0.00.

I immediately thought that if I went back 20 times, I could get a free bag of chilli.

Am I being too cheap?