Yes, that’s right. I’ve had enough – of roadworks.

Initially I thought, wow, isn’t the Sunshine Coast going ahead? So much progress.

But it just doesn’t stop. Whether it’s on Sunshine Motorway at Sippy Downs, or whether it’s going north on the highway near Pomona, there are little witches’ hats everywhere.

There are orange poles, yellow-and-black striped bunting, tiny men and woman with stop-go signs, and some sort of fencing made out of orange plastic.

Truly, I went through Maroochydore roundabout the other day and became more confused than Jeff Fenech trying to pick out a new watch in a jewellery shop.

Agro doesn’t miss a beat

I had the pleasure of launching the Let’s Read program at Maroochy Neighbourhood Centre.

Agro read Hairy McClary to an adoring crowd of pre-schoolers who, naturally, have never seen him before.

After all, it has been some time since he was on morning television on Channel 7.

I was introduced and confidently strode to the front of the stage and sat down to read the book to the kids.

Once I was comfortable, I realised if one hand was operating the puppet, and the other hand was holding the book, who the heck was going to turn the pages?

Naturally, I used all my skills and cheekiness and chose someone from the audience.

That someone was Rosanna Natoli. She politely obliged and turned the pages as I read.

We got to the middle of the book and Rosanna politely pointed out that I had missed a bit.

Agro, never one to miss an opportunity, turned to her and said: “You’re not making me look bad just because I did the television ad for Bob Abbot are ya?”

Yes, somebody reads it

I was buying socks and undies at Sunshine Plaza the other day.

I was served by a lovely lady named Lindy who told me proudly that her husband Steve Elliott gets Saturday’s Sunshine Coast Daily and always starts at my column.

“He absolutely loves it,” she said.

I was suitably impressed and, as usual, took the accolades in my stride.

In case you are wondering where someone like me buys my socks and undies, why… at Lowes… of course.

Happy Easter, Mr JR ‘W’

I took a day out to travel into the Mary Valley.

I turned at the tourist drive turn-off from the Gympie highway and had gone a kilometre or two when I noticed a steaming pile of rubbish dumped beside the road.

I drove past and then thought: “What sort of moron would just pull up and dump a trailer full of rubbish?”

I quickly did a U-turn and started sorting through the palm fronds, cut-up tree trunks and household rubbish, looking for some clue to its owner.

I ran the blue light over it just like they do on the TV show but the only thing I could find was sauce stains.

I pushed aside some rotting vegetables and suddenly there it was. A letter from Woolworths Ezy Banking with a complete name and address and even account details.

How good was I? So congratulations Mr JR “W”, of Lagoon Pocket.

Next time you dump your rubbish, make sure an investigative journalist of my calibre doesn’t find out. And, if you do it again, I’ll print your full name and address. Have a happy Easter.

Moving audition

I have made much of the fact on radio this week that I was asked to audition for a movie. The script arrived and I started going over my scenes in the faint hope I might have just one more shot at stardom.

My children helped me with my lines, including 10-year-old Jackson, who seemed to get carried away with the idea of his father being on the big screen. The day came, I travelled to Brisbane and I did as good as I could.

Jackson was the first to ask: “How did you go, Dad? Did you get the part?”

I replied: “Well I won’t know yet, there are other people trying out in front of me”.

He thought for a moment and then asked: “Were they skinny?”