You may remember a couple of weeks ago, I suggested that the council is planning to get rid of the walk of stars in Caloundra.

Oh the power of the press! At 9.30pm on Saturday night I got a call from the man who created the Caloundra Walk of Stars – Tony Worsley. He called from his new home town of Howard which must be in a Telstra black spot unless he speaks some form of pidgin English of which I’m not aware. The phone line crackled and farted as an irate Tony threatened to relocate the whole thing to Ipswich, west of Brisbane.

Now Tony I don’t want to lose it either but…..Ipswich??

Unlawful entry

How was I to know all I did as I entered the school to pick up the kids was answer my mobile phone as I entered the car park.
I must have missed the P&C meeting that voted to hire a policewoman to direct the traffic because not only did she point at me and put on a grumpy face for using my phone while driving, she was so serious about it, I fully expected her to draw her gun and tell me to “step away from the Nokia”.

Maroochydore McDonalds

I have actually found God. She works at McDonalds Maroochydore making the hot chocolate fudge sundaes. If you ask her for extra chocolate she specialises in a layer of fudge at the bottom, a layer of fudge at the top and then wait for it…..a layer of fudge in the middle. It is HEAVEN.

Schoolies

What’s a father to do? My beautiful 17-year-old daughter, and love of my life, Stella is on the Gold Coast somewhere in Surfers Paradise letting off steam for schoolies week. I couldn’t help myself, I rang her mobile and left a message.
“Hi, Stella, it’s Dad, please don’t take drugs, don’t drink and above all don’t have sex, apart from that have a really good time, love ya, Dad.”

Bravest dog of all

My new red cattle dog Gracie, was growling and barking in the paddock and circling something in the grass. I panicked for fear she may be bitten by something venomous. I strode quickly through the greenery ordering her in my gruffest voice to come away. I got there as quick as I could only to be confronted by two eyes staring back at me, two black pointy ears seemingly alert, my heart was pounding and my mouth went dry for there right in front of me, ready to attack, was 11-year-old Jackson’s Batman mask. Don’t be embarrassed Gracie, it scared the life out of me too.

Brush with fame

I was at the counter at the Coolum Beach Mitre 10 Hardware store buying herbs. OK, so it’s not the manliest thing to do on a weekend but it beats climbing a ladder and replacing the guttering. The guy beside me studied my face then thrust his hand out and said “Gidday Jamie, I’m Shane Urban, Keith’s brother.”

You know those situations when you say something you wish you hadn’t, well…….I turned and said “How lucky is your brother Keith, he wakes up beside Nicole Kidman every morning.”
Shane kept talking as though I’d said nothing at all. “They are really happy, I saw them on Wednesday at the preview of Australia.”

I suppose I should have asked him about the movie but I didn’t. I continued in the same vein. “Every morning! Next to Nicole Kidman! How lucky is that!”
He seemed to lose interest and went off to get some aggie pipe. I called after him “Say g’day to Keith for me will ya!”