There are a lot of things I am willing to accept as “sports”. Surfing is one. Skateboarding another. Heck, in the right conditions, even dancing is a sport. Video gaming, however, is a whole other story. Sitting in front of screen and moving your thumbs is not a sport. Monkeys could do it. As much as my younger brother would have liked to make it so, gaming doesn’t even come close to being considered a sport. At least in my books.

The South Korean government obviously disagrees with me – they are funding the world’s first e-sports stadium, where gamers will be able to converge and compete against other nations on gianormous screens. They are hoping to have it up and running by 2008 and it does sound sort of like the gaming Olympics but, still, it doesn’t make it a sport.

My friend Tom tried to point out to me that there are people who take gaming very seriously – those who train, prepare, constantly challenge themselves and some who even manage to make a living just by playing. I answered by saying that I train for major sales – prepare a game plan, set challenging goals and could probably make a living from selling my clothes on eBay – but that didn’t make shopping a sport.

But as the gaming phenomenon seems to show no signs of slowing down, it is shining a light on the changing face of physical activity and what we consider sport. We used to want to get out there and have a go ourselves. Then we started getting content sitting on the couch, watching others get out there and have a go. Now we seem to have decided we have found a happy medium – we’re still sitting on the couch but we get to exercise that competitive nature buried deep within all of us, while our thumbs act out our every whim.

I read something which said the next generation’s thumbs are becoming more flexible and nubile then previous generations. Now I have nothing against thumbs, and full credit for becoming opposable and helping us rise to the top of the food chain but, seriously, moving them up and down is not exercise. And making a computer generated figure run, hop, skip, jump and catch balls is not sport. So how about you put the controller down, back away slowly and step out into the sunshine.

Call up some friends, grab a footy and head out to the local park – and actually play some sport. At the end of the day, isn’t the feeling of actually getting across the line yourself a lot more satisfying then getting cramps in your thumbs?

A big thank you to those NRL fans who were considerate enough to send in some new AFL jokes so I wouldn’t be so bored with the old ones. I’ll share one of the more inventive ones, which has the added bonus of sticking it to Collingwood.

A man walks into a bar and notices a robot behind the counter. The robot asks the man what he would like to drink and what his IQ is. The man gives his drink order and says 150. So the robot hands him his wine and asks, “So, what do you think the answer to global warming is?” and they have an intelligent chat. The man comes back the next night and decides to test the robot. This time gives his IQ as 100. The robot asks him about the Prime Minister. Suitably impressed, the man comes in a third night with one final test. When the robot asks him for his IQ, he stumbles and answers “Oh, I dunno, maybe 50 or somethink?” So the robot leans down and says really slowly, “So whaddya think about Collingwood then?”.