I never thought I would say this, but maybe the Scud is onto something.

World domination through tennis is obviously not working out as planned, so it seems the Poo has decided to cash in on his celebrity status (such as it is) and, in a story as old as time, look for the woman to whom he can utter “you complete me”.

And in a story as old as his last girlfriend, he has decided to do it on reality television.
And why not?

He’s chosen the US of A as his love playground and NBC producers are falling all over themselves to pimp him to an adoring American public.

They describe him as a “30-year-old tennis super star finally ready to let a woman into his life and heart”.

The women contestants want to know “how you can’t fall in love with someone who is tall, dark and gorgeous”.

The Scud just wants to know how he can be expected to choose from 13 beautiful and willing women.

It seems like a match made in heaven.

In a world where being athletically gifted and good looking is a golden ticket to stardom outside of sport, more and more “athletes” are finding bigger successes outside their chosen field.

Just look at Mark’s one-time rumoured squeeze Anna Kournikova.

Does anyone remember the last time she actually won something?

It’s not a new trend.

We used to take our old, retiring athletes, wrap them in animal print and let them answer the call of the wild as Tarzan for a movie or seven.

Now they don’t even need to wrap themselves in anything, we are happy for them to dazzle us with nothing more than a smile, no matter how badly their rankings drop.

And it all works out fine as long as, after their initial sporting glory, they accept the fact that they are no longer taken seriously as athletes and retreat into a world of celebrity endorsements, parties and the gossip articles regarding their latest squeeze.

And if the Scud has finally accepted this path, than more power to him.

So there is nothing wrong with his star turn as the bachelor on Age of Love except for the fact that he still seems to be deluding himself about a tennis comeback.

In fact, he said he only agreed to the show because he had some time while he was recovering from his gazillionth injury, but he was focussed on returning to the court.

Obviously frolicking with scantily clad beauties is the first thing a physio would recommend for recovery from a knee injury, but that’s another story.

The thing is, this reality show isn’t based on Mark Phillippoussis, tennis star.

It’s based on Mark Phillippoussis, dater of young women.

And when your dating habits are more well known then your career, then maybe it’s time to have a long look in the mirror.

The show introduces Mark to women in their 40s – known as the “cougars” – and, just as he has got over the fact that he could find love with a woman older then he is, they introduce the ladies he is a little more acquainted with – the kittens, or as they are known in the real world, women in their 20s.

The show then asks the question – when it comes to love, does age matter?

But I think Marky-baby should be asking – when it comes to sport, does superseded ability matter?

And when does grasping at last chances become a little too pathetic?