Is it just me or has everyone learned a new word this week?

My word is filicide and I wish I never heard it.

It means the deliberate act by a parent of killing his or her child.

None of us will forget the faces of Jack, Maddie and Bon Bell, the gorgeous kids gassed to death by their dad because he thought he might be going to jail for repeatedly beating their mother. His final act of brutality.

Garry Bell had a history of violence. Members of his own family were frightened of him.

Neighbours say he often locked his wife Karen out of the house at night and had been seen kicking her out of the family car, insisting she follow himself and the children on foot.

Until the day he killed them all, Garry Bell had never laid a finger on any of his children.

In the same week the Bell children died, a 31-year-old Cowra policewoman lost her sons and mother in a triple axe murder committed by her dad.

Then there’s Susan Smith, the American woman who drove her car into a lake, watched her two boys drown, then claimed a car-jacking.

And Gavin Hall, who suffocated his three-year-old daughter Millie as revenge for his wife’s infidelity.

In a text message, he told her: ‘Now you have the rest of your life to deal with the consequences'.

There’s thousands more cases, I know. UK authorities claim every ten days in England and Wales a parent kills a child.

The Australian Institute of Criminology claims filicide makes up 17% of all domestic homicide nationwide.

It is committed almost equally by mums and dads. Motivation for filicide differs, however.

Women who murder their children usually do it in the first years of life, for reasons ranging from altruistic filicide, that is, murder motivated by ‘love’ because they no-longer feel they can care for their child, to fatal maltreatment filicide, including abuse, neglect and Munchausen syndrome by proxy.

Experts claim in almost all cases of altruistic filicide the mother has sought help of some sort.

As such, a new mother who claims to be depressed should never be ignored.

Doctors are now advised to make immediate but discreet inquiries about how a depressed mother ‘feels’ about the child, and insist on a follow up appointment.

It’s interesting to note that across the world, women are responsible for just 14% of violent crime, yet 50% of filicide.

Dads who murder their children are more likely to commit multiple filicide, involving older children, motivated by depression, mental illness or spousal revenge.

Twenty-five per cent of dads who kill have sought some sort of psychiatric help.

In the case of spousal revenge however, experts claim filicide is almost impossible to predict.

I was disappointed this week to read one opinion piece calling for more understanding of men who kill their kids, especially as the result of marriage breakdown.

“That loss of control is deeply wounding to male pride. It can easily curdle into murderous jealousy if their own flesh and blood ends up living with another male.”

I have no doubt separation is horrific for families, but paternal filicide is no argument for changes to the family court.

The very fact children have been killed is proof the courts got it right, they were clearly not safe with their father.

Having said that, I agree the only way to prevent more spousal revenge killings is to acknowledge the distress of some dads and attempt to do something about it.

The NSW ombudsman has called for a national taskforce. He says until we can establish a pattern in domestic homicide, health care workers, social workers and police are floundering in the dark.

But no matter how much you blame the courts or the government, no matter what is going on in your life, remember this – if you have ever, even once considered or planned killing your children, it is time to ask for help.

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14