I’m just going to come out and say the thing that you are not supposed to.

If you want to keep your relationship happy, then you have to maintain the bedroom activities.

Because if not, then you are just friends who live together.

What is love if not an intimate friendship?

Take out the physical aspect of that and all you are left with is the friendship.

And while that is important, you are not going to sustain being in love if you don’t get all hot and bothered between the bed sheets on a regular basis.

Making love is what connects you – no pun intended. It is what sets your relationship apart from all the others you have in your life at any one time.

But staying in lust with the one you love can be hard work.

I mean let’s face it – humans cohabitating can’t really hide a lot from each other.

There are smells, sounds and a whole lot of other stuff which you can’t hide from each other all the time and seriously, it really isn’t conducive to keeping the romance alive.

For that reason, there is one rule in the Remeikis-Jones household.

The bathroom door must stay closed.

To be more specific, any room which houses the toilet must stay closed.

I have toilet issues.

I would rather forget that it was even needed – I don’t like thinking about any of it.

In fact, I feel a little sick even writing about it.

But all that aside, I really don’t need to see Alex utilising the bathroom and he doesn’t need to see me.

There is absolutely nothing romantic about sitting on the proverbial throne.

And the way I see it, those bits should only be seen in fun situations – not functional.

I’ve heard all the arguments about it meaning you are comfortable enough with someone blah, blah, blah – but I don’t think you should ever be that comfortable with someone.

At least not while you are under 80.

Keeping the physical side of a relationship alive means keeping that spark alive, which means keeping a little of the mystery alive.

Which, at the end of the day, means keeping the toilet door firmly closed.