What’s a girl to do? The career demands long hours and work into the night. The husband just wants a cooked meal on the table. Daily reporter Amy Remeikis takes a light-hearted look at finding the right balance between work and family as a young wife.

Why I've got no time for kids

October 16 | Amy Remeikis

To all the working couples with children, I take off my hat to you.

I have no idea how you manage to fit in work, friends, time together, sleep, eating, life stuff and children in only 24 hours.

Twenty-four hours is not enough. I think it used to be but then I became a grown-up.

And I’m seriously considering forming a union or something against the lies and half-truths they told you about being an adult while you are growing up.

I only have to fit in Alex, work, life stuff, a crazy family and friends, and I find that a constant challenge.

For a while there Alex and I were only communicating through notes and text messages.

I would be leaving the house when he came home and vice versa.

It was ridiculous.

We used to go for a walk or a bike ride to Cotton Tree every Saturday morning – but I can’t remember the last time we had a chance to do that.

Because that would take time out of our designated sleeping time and I have found recently that is one area where you shouldn’t scrimp.

So because we hadn’t been seeing each other, when we did it was all about what we had to do, what needed doing and what hadn’t been done – not exactly the stuff of big romances.

Yes, that is life. But it is also immensely frustrating.

To try and find some extra time in my day I have hired Ute from Absolute Domestics.

Ute doesn’t know it yet but she is much more than a cleaner.

She is a lifesaver.

Ute will be taking care of the bathroom, the kitchen and the dusting for two hours every fortnight. Which gives Alex and I an extra hour a week to do – whatever we want to do!

That is a whole 60 minutes with no plans.

I imagine it will just be absorbed into the week without us even noticing, but I hope not.

Because this is a general run of my day:

7.30am – wake up

8.15am – drive to work

8.30am (ish) – work.

6.30pm (ish) – arrive home.

7pm – go to gym/walk (not lately)

8pm – arrive home

8.30pm – eat

9pm – write extra stories/column/features while trying to watch TV

11pm – clean/bake (otherwise it is just going to build up and up and up)

Midnight – read (in vain attempt to shut off brain)

1am – sleep.

Not fun.

Days off are filled with trying to catch up with friends, cleaning the house, paying bills, going grocery shopping, calling my parents, sending stuff off in the post, driving to or from the Gold Coast/Brisbane, attending things I’d rather not be at, waxing, scraping off my skin (microdermabrasion, how I love you) and paying attention to my husband.

I have no idea how you would fit children in there. No idea at all.

We are all time-poor. I have no idea how I let myself get like this and I wonder if you can defrag your life as easily as a computer.

In the meantime my money (literally) is on Ute. There may be 24 useful hours in every day but I’d just like one of those to be for … nothing.

Wouldn’t you?

Recent Comments

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Posted by JeffWatson from Twin Waters

on 16 October, 2008 at 8:19 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

We fit in kids by making the decision that one of us would put the kids first by being a "stay at home" parent.

When we first moved here in 1985, my kids were 4 & 2 and I was the "stay at home" parent, becoming the first male president of my daughter's Pre-School Mother's Club.

The cost?

Years of renting and driving old cars.

The gains?

Two wonderful and well-adjusted adult children.

A few days ago I was relaxing by my swimming pool while watching my daughter playing in the water with my 3-year-old grandson (who we consider our silver anniversary present as he was born on the morning of our 25th wedding anniversary) and thinking "this is what life is all about".

Kids or no kids, that's your choice and other people shouldn’t tell you what to do.

But one day you will have plenty of time... and no grandchildren to share it with.

Posted by JustThinking from Kawana

on 16 October, 2008 at 8:47 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

Beautifully written Jeff. My first thought of an answer to 'How do you fit children in?' was 'you just do'.

But I do applaud people who recognise their current limits, both financially and personally, and choose not to bring children in to that equation for the time being....perhaps not at all. If more people did that then perhaps we wouldn't have the high incidence of children living in dysfunctional homes and/or homes that are very financially ill-equipped.

I wholeheartedly agree with Jeff in that when you choose to have children, then you also choose to put a lot of your own dreams/wants etc in to the 'when the kids are older' basket. But the thing is, if you really love those children then you don't mind doing that....you just do.

Posted by my2centsworth from Mountain Creek

on 16 October, 2008 at 12:23 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

Well Amy, you obviously found time for the "glam" photo shoot...
Seriously though, if you and Alex don't make your marriage a MAJOR priority in your life, you won't every have to worry about kids cause you wont have a marriage left!

Posted by Amy_R from maroochydore

on 16 October, 2008 at 2:30 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

How right you are my2centsworth. That way of thinking is exactly what prompted this column. It can just be hard sometimes making that time. I think that when you live with someone you can begin to take for granted the time you spend with them - and that is wrong.

Posted by john_fogarty from Caloundra

on 16 October, 2008 at 8:04 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

Amy , although there are only 24 hours in a day , I think we would all have much more energy after work if Daylight Saving were reintroduced .

Posted by kooky from Mountain Creek

on 17 October, 2008 at 1:18 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

I know of many people who have been at work for at least an hour before you get your lazy butt out of bed, I start at 7.30 and rarely finish before 5.30. Most gyms open at 6 am. I do gym at lunch time, it gets me going for the afternoon, but I guess that would rule out the long lazy lunch.

Two DINKS (Double Income No Kids) who need a maid, BOLLOCKS

Posted by vin44 from Maroochy River

on 18 October, 2008 at 6:37 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

To Grant Broadhead (Sat18th.What About Us) Your choice about the kids, Grant, but be assured, old age is headed your way....hang in there.

Posted by Amy_R from maroochydore

on 18 October, 2008 at 8:47 p.m. ( Suggest removal )

Valid points Kooky, but some of us are not morning people. And I don't usually have time for a lunch break. Perhaps you are better at time management than I am, but I'm trying to improve

Posted by sunnyone44 from Mooloolaba

on 19 October, 2008 at 5:49 a.m. ( Suggest removal )

I think perhaps some are a wee bit harsh in their critical comments re not having children. There are some women and men who realise that the time is not right for them or that they are honest enough to say to each other that they do not wish to ever have children. I am one who likes children but I am very happy to hand them back to mum or dad. I freely admit Im one who A should never have married and B never had children. As a child you are taught many things by your parents and one of the things they teach you is how to love, that is if you are a wanted and loved child.

Your parents may not abuse you but you do as a child pick up that you are a huge bother to your parents and that they would much rather you were not around so they could do what they want to do. I would rather see young couples established in their careers, secure in their love for each other and perhaps a house and land and at the stage where at least one of them could stay at home through those vital years of childhood than to have a child because of pressure to do so.