Nugget: Fwoarrrr! Hello Delta. The tremendous work of Delta Goodrem this week to turn herself from straight-laced girl-next-door in to fair-dinkum hot-pot has impressed me no end.

I have not seen a transformation of such magnificent and daring proportions since DK Lillee decided to go sans moustache. One can’t help but think the amazing value of a good makeover.

Crow Boy: Oh my Delta, you saucy little vixen. She’s channelling the inner Sandra Dee.

But you’re right, a makeover can do for some what beach volleyball has done for Brazilian waxing. Take croquet, for example. There’s mallets, balls and a concept called the “continuation stroke”. It has all the elements, but has just failed to strike a chord with the punters.

N: Staying on sports that have sticks, balls and more padding than Ian Hewitson after one of his own stews, the somewhat volatile sport of hockey could be most certainly taken up a notch.

That game has got enough potential with one ball in play; imagine chucking in three pills (known as the Ben Cousins Technique) and watching the action unfold.

It would be worth the price of admission alone to watch the goalie have a nervous breakdown.

CB: One sport which I believe has never gained the kudos it deserves is Greco-Roman wrestling. It would be the perfect solution for the NRL repeat offenders of the grapple tackle and the squirrel grip.

It just needs some pizzazz, perhaps some capes, soundtracks such as Eye Of The Tiger or The Boys Light Up and fluoro lycra.

N: Sounds like a nice night in at Molly Meldrum’s house. I don’t think the makeovers should be limited to entire sports. Some of the world’s finest athletes would only benefit from a little spit and polish.

Take Paramatta tackling-machine Nathan Hindmarsh. Most weeks the kid racks up a half-century of tackles while displaying more crack than the Valley Pool men’s sheds.

CB: I’ve seen Brett Finch pop a dollar coin down the slot and out pops a perfectly ripe potato which is sourced from the fertile soils of his home club, the Robertson Spuddies.

But Hindmarsh is a male model compared with Wallaby Matt Dunning. Dead set, he’s the love child of the Michelin Man and a butcher. The last time Dunning saw his neck Craig McLachlan was making perms cool.

N: The last time that Wallaby coach John Connolly and his handlers got the James Home Services boys around to gurney out the wad of cookie dough Mat is using for a neck, they found Harold Holt’s Speedos, an alternative cure for polio and two trollies from Coles Balmain.

Surely a makeover could be used the other way to ugly someone up a bit, or do what is known as a “Reverse Delta”. Miss Sharapova could use a bit of a whack with the “Kim Clijsters ugly stick” just so we could all concentrate on women’s tennis for once.

CB: Luckily during the Anna Kournikova reign she never played tennis, so the two never clashed.

One bloke who could do with a trip to the Trevor Gillmeister Institute is Craig Wing. The bloke’s just too pretty to play league. I even wince when he takes a tackle. Usually it’s the ladies wincing when they take the tackle.

N: Pre-raunchy makeover, I would have dead set said that “Wingy” was a foxier lady than Ms Goodrem. On a dark night with a couple of cans under the belt, I challenge any chap to spot the difference, a situation which can lead to embarrassment and an odd form of chafing ... or so I’ve heard.

CB: Yeah, you’ve heard from your fellow members in the Boy From Oz fan club. Another bloke who needs a good old-fashioned roughen up is Essendon pin-up Matthew Lloyd. The bloke’s more cleancut than the Partridge family.

N: A couple of weeks at the Julia Gillard finishing school for young men and Lloydy will be less Partridge Family and more “The Brady Bunch" - and I mean the years when Greg was dating the mum after-hours and Alice the housekeeper got done for knocking over a 7/11.