Nugget: Whooh, what a year, I’m more puffed than Casey Donovan after going up an escalator.

The year 2007 has been a veritable buffet of sex, drugs, controversy and disaster, and I for one have relished every salacious minute of it!

Crow Boy: There’s been more ups and downs than the springs on Warnie’s panel van, but the overall sensation is a high worthy of a night out with Wendell Sailor.

N: It seems fitting that you would mention Wendell. While it has been a relatively quiet year for Clive Lloyd’s alleged love child, as a fellow lover of the Colombian Fizz Wizz, Ben Cousins was no doubt the story of 2007.

CB: Yep, Benny Cousins had more gear in ’07 than a woman’s handbag. He became so delusional after being in the US, at one stage Benny thought he was channelling the Fat Controller with some unique locomotive head wear. Toot, toot.

N: The top award for this year simply goes to Benny, but not for the crime itself. I mean let’s be honest, if every elite athlete who got done for party time was splashed across the tabloids, there would be no room for the movie listings.

Benny takes home the ’07 gold for the sheer longevity of his misdemeanour. From a February disappearance to an October arrest, the ‘Cuz’ was simply outstanding, and all while not losing that smirk.

That made us think Benny was always holding two draw fours in a high stakes game of UNO.

CB: A close second in the goose stakes was Para-letic halfback Tim Smith.

After coping a ban for getting on the gas, Smithy took a $1000 fine on the chin. He promptly handed the cheque to charity, before heading straight for the bar to celebrate his good work.

During the off-season he’s looking forward to performing minor brain surgery on his ex-teammates.

N: What worries me is that I believe young Tim has taken a vow to drink more than Robert Downey Jr at Keith Urban’s buck’s night until the blue and golds bring the NRL premiership back to Parramatta Stadium.

While it will be tremendously entertaining for the rest of us, if the kid keeps up the pace he’ll end up looking like Tracy Grimshaw. Eeewwww.

CB: We must reward one Sonny Bill Williams for taking romance to a new level. His nightclub dunny antics with Candice Falzon were innovative and displayed the chivalry that only rugby league can deliver. He even flushed afterward.

N: Look, while allegedly SBW was as caring and attentive lover as one can be with the scent of urinal cakes in the air, Candice had to mark the hard running lock forward down a couple of points after his refusal to put the seat down.

Staying on the subject of athletes copping it in public, a dishonourable mention has to handed to the teal and black pretenders from Port Adelaide. I haven’t seen a cat maul anything more convincingly than when my Nan’s prize-winning rosella “Graham” ventured too close to the pet door.

CB: Ohhh, that was a ruthless beating. On the positive side, at least the healthy dose of humble pie shut Mark “Choco” Williams up for the summer, and also fed all supporters for three months.

N: Unfortunately the pie had to be pureed, as even the handsomest Port Adelaide fan has all of about three teeth and even they’re like the Ten Commandments (all broken, boom tish!).

I feel we have been remiss in coming this far into our 2007 highlight journey and not rewarding the Australian athletics poster child for mental illness. The effort of Jana Rawlinson (nee Pittman) in the 400m hurdles at the Osaka World Championships was made all the better by the fact she beat the seven other runners and the 2000-odd personalities stored in her head.

CB: Her victory speech of “I see dead people” was a little disconcerting though.

Bouquets must also go out to MotoGP champ Casey Stoner, not for dominating the fastest machines on two wheels but for the hot bit of skirt he has in his corner.

Despite looking like a 12-year-old who’s stolen Adam Gilchrist’s ears, Stoner’s jagged a beauty. Unlike the rest of the male population, the faster his is, the more she’s impressed.

N: Just going to put this out there: Has anyone ever seen Casey Stoner and “Alex Kidd in Miracle World” in the same room ... mmm, I thought not.

Speaking of seeming unattractive crocodiles sporting sweeter arm candy than a diabetic, let’s review the 2007 of one Michael “Don’t call me Pup” Clarke.

Twelve months ago the bottle blond from Sydney’s inner west was out of the Test side and generally a forlorn man. Now he is a fixture in the baggy green, a future Aussie skipper and spending more time in a Bingle than the stars of “World’s Wackiest Drivers”.

CB: Hats off to Pup. His scoring on and off the pitch is to be commended, and he always gets great value for strokes.

N: Giddy up to Formula One boy wonder Lewis Hamilton as well.

The kid was driving a plastic “Big Red Car” about three years ago, but didn’t the boy become a man in 2007, and he was good enough to invite the cream of the world’s driving talent to his 320kmh bar mitzvah.

If he and Hermoine Granger formed an item, they may jump the queue at Buckingham Palace and King Lewis may have the first-ever royal throne with a cup holder and seat belt.