Crow Boy: Benny Cousins is a trailblazer. The man who always ensures there are always three “Es” in entertainment cannot only combine a first-rate footy career with a partying schedule heavier than Casey Donovan, but he’s also found time to teach the kiddies.

Ned Kelly’s final words “such is life” have been emblazed on his washing board-like guts to provide an insight into history and bring the phrase back in the vernacular of today’s youth.

Nugget: So true my toucan-faced friend. Benny has been given a bum wrap in the last few weeks for his love of the River Phoenix Coco Pops, but he has made Australian history cooler than the OC, listening to an Ipod while wearing a pair of skinny jeans and watching Summer Heights High put together.

Yet again the community has been shown the way by a drug-addled athlete.

Crow Boy: You’re bursting with new levels of intelligence and skin folds.

Surely others could take a step in the Benny direction and ensure wise phrases and slogans are never forgotten. Ben could have gone with the alternative “i before e except after c”, which would have worked on so many levels.

N: Yet again, Benny is educating the kiddies. Something I know he feels passionately about.

You only have to listen to Ben discuss ways and means of punishing children who have been naughty in class. He’s always recommending people do lines at every opportunity.

CB: Wendell would be perfect as a canvas for his own words of wisdom, perhaps reviving the ’70s softdrink slogan “Have a coke and a smile”.

N: The marriage of a world-famous athlete and a world-famous ad slogan would almost be more powerful than the marriage of Bert Reynolds and Loni Anderson.

Surely “Long” John Daly would look more than impressive if he hoisted the size XXXXL golf shirt to reveal the Wendy’s Favourite “Where’s The Beef”.

CB: Given Wayne “The Duck’ Carey’s impressive history on and off the field, he could take the “That’s Gold” phrase one step further. He could have the words accompanied by a finger pointing to his manhood.

N: Staying with “The Duck” and his love of getting his beak wet, perhaps taking a leaf from Japanese car manufacturing juggernaut Mitsubishi, keep the aforementioned arrow and simply flash “Please Consider” above it. Go “The Duck”.

CB: Shane Warne could use his sponsorship deal to great effect. “Just Do It” would look a sensation on the inner thigh, with his manhood providing the “swoosh” when ready for action.

Or given Warnie’s penchant for ladies and phones, he could always go with “Let your fingers do the walking”.