Crow Boy: There were plenty of people feeling sorry for Channel Seven sports journo Benny Davis this week after his pummelling at the hands of Broncos supporters.

He was just lucky he wasn’t at a Collingwood match – the magpie supporter would have flogged him, his brother, mother, and then stolen their TV.

N: Poor little Benny. He wasn’t the only Brissie local be on the wrong side of a flogging at Olympic Park on Sunday afternoon.

At least the Broncos were expecting it and could brace themselves.

Won’t the rugby league administrators be chuffed, though – millions of dollars in marketing and promotions spent every year to try and throw off the shackles of bogunness, and a graduate from the Winnie Blue Institute goes and molests poor Benny.

CB: The root of the problem is the wasted effort from the brain surgeons who were involved in this unsavoury incident.

Benny was a victim of circumstance, because there are ample sporting commentators who are begging for a beating.

N: Too true, Crow Boy. Clearly the boys are doing for common sense what chubby, pale-skinned girls do for hot pants – very little.

While we do have these soldiers of stupidity at our disposal, we may as well point them in a more worthwhile direction than Benny Davis.

Surely Ikin of the Ben variety would be a much more sensible choice for a public flogging. Imagine a moccasin-clad boot to the noggin just as Ben unloads one of his commentary gems such as: “Rugby league is a game played with a ball”.

CB: Followed by “I think the team who scores the most will win”. Yep, Ikin has earned the title of Captain Obvious.

It’s like the bloke reckons no-one else can see a television. Special comments, my arse. In fact, I reckon my rear end could deliver more insightful musings.

N: True, and I think it would also have the capacity to pick a more flattering pair of men’s glasses.

Seriously, Ikin, some 68-year-old lady has had to miss Bingo because you are wearing her goggles. Uncool, mate.

Staying with the jerks in the Channel 9 blazers, certainly Phil Gould would be a more suitable target for our group of Romper Stomper-style league bogans.

CB: The self-appointed doyen of rugby league who sits upon his self-produced throne. Gus doesn’t need adult entertainment to get excited, he just looks in the mirror.

N: There is only one issue with our self-styled group of “Tracky Dack Ninjas” choosing Gus, however. Given the size of the Gould melon, I reckon he has the space to accommodate full-time security staff, hiding somewhere behind his sinuses, it could be a very short offensive being launched by the lads.

CB: On the subject of offensive, Robert Walls is one individual who deserves to have his voice box removed for the good of mankind.

The man’s love for Collingwood, Mick Malthouse and Alan Didak’s left leg is more concerning than a Britney Spears child-care centre.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Wallsy following in the footsteps of that American astronaut and wearing an adult-size nappy while watching the Pies train.

N: Spot on, big fella, the Walls love for Didak especially has become so great, I hear he has taken to wearing gang colours at all times on the off chance that he may catch Alan for a night on the turps.

Much like the aforementioned Mr Ikin, Wallsy should be charged with crimes against the English language. Gems such as, “I really feel that this match will finish at the end of the fourth quarter” are reason enough for a chin massage.

CB: Luckily Wallsy is in the commentary booth. If he was riding the boundary he’d latch onto Malthouse at quarter-time and give him the treatment which would put a randy Labrador to shame.