Not even a warm bath with one of the Pope’s fine clergymen could wash away the shame.

Over the years we have been among the guilty, with barbs such as “does the carpet match the curtains” to those poor unfortunates with pale skin and the “red” gene.

But it’s time to wash away our past sins, yes, Sorry Ranga Day will be staged on August 10 and it’s time to apologise, move on, stay well clear of the sun and celebrate all things ginger.

Here’s an ode to the Fanta pantsers in our fine sporting realm.

Lance Thompson: The tradesman-like second-rower has made the jump from player to player/manager and as the only agent in the game asking for sunscreen and wide-brimmed hats as part of player contracts, the Thompson stable is set to be filled with more happy rangas than an adult film starring Danny Bonaduce, Molly Ringwald and Boris Becker.

Brad Hardy: The legendary Brisbane Bears back pocket used to cause enough friction between his thighs each game to power a small village for a year, but nonetheless boasted more skill and prowess with the ball than Wayne Carey with the flutes at a Mikasa party.

Carl Langdon: Ashamed of his redness, Carlos attempted to hide his ginger locks with a nasty shade of blonde. Combined with a ridiculous on-field persona, he was part of the reason why Australians turned on rangas in the ’90s. The bloke could still play, and actually has more smarts than the entire current West Coast Eagles playing list.

Cameron Ling: Plied his trade in the schoolyard trying to find mates, Lingy is now one of the best stoppers in AFL. The red locks now fly with an air of self respect and he stands prouder than a honeymooner on his wedding night.
Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin: Brought us slapping blokes, that bloody one-handed catch and the ridiculous head wobble. Also played a bit of footy for Manly and the Maroons, and also coached Queensland.

Peter Taylor: The man known as “Peter Who” when he was selected for the Australian Test team was blessed with Australian cricket’s most mimicked bowling action and a hair filled with more ginger than 50 bucks worth of Thai takeaway.

Craig McDermott: Big, cranky and fast. The standard definition of every ranga since Richie Cunningham. “Billy the Kid” was probably the bravest of the group, given his work as a Test fast bowler saw him barrelling around in the midday sun for up to 15 minutes at a time. Fearless.

Brett Dallas: One of Paul Vautin’s “Nobodys” from the 1995 State of Origin, he was blessed with blistering speed and a magnificent step, no doubt skills honed over a very painful childhood of being harassed by the “normal” kids. The obligatory skin colour led to his downfield breaks being referred to as “milk runs”.

Darren Bewick: He was short and ginger – you could have forgiven him for shunning the world and going to live in Adelaide. But instead he ran rings around defenders for 150-plus games for Essendon and slotted more sausage rolls than Casey Donovan.

Peter Wallace: Showed the toughness that only a lifetime of being called “Fanta pants” can produce when he played on manfully in State of Origin with a left nut in worse shape than your super fund. We love you Pete.

Craig Moore: Also conforms to the ugly stereotype of the gingers being masochistically angry and misunderstood creatures. Has spent the better part of a magnificent career punching on and knocking in penalties when the Socceroos needed them most. Says he was attracted to the Queensland Roar by a chance to be near family, but the hideously bright orange strip must have contributed.

Daniel Merrett: The Lion defender is big, angry and has a fist which has hammered more pig-skin than the staff at Spam. Those attributes also qualify him a spot in the Collingwood cheer squad.

Jon Roe: Definitely has the over-achiever gene as well that nasty one that turns a perfectly healthy baby’s hair red and skin paler than skim milk. Has given away a stellar career with the Queensland Reds (no coincidence there surely) to continue his other life as a doctor... that’s right people he is a doctor. May commit the rest of his working life to finding a way for his people to go outside after 10am.

Emma George: This blood-nut wanted to follow in the footsteps of John Butler and get high for a living. First she joined the circus, then she pole-vaulted her way into Australia’s heart until a mat was pulled from beneath her and the athletics career.

Mick Neil: The Balmain stalwart of the 1980s and ’90s was blessed with many attributes – an astute kicking game, hands softer than Shane Watson’s hamstrings and a bonce covered in what is simply known as the “Ginger Bonus” bright red hair and a magnificent collection of curls. Think what the result would be if Craig McLachlan shagged Pauline Hanson… and then throw up.