Something bizarre is happening with the space-time continuum that is the rarefied rugby league universe.

A powerful destabilising force is at work, more disruptive than a Bulldogs bonding session coupled with the Big Bang, which possibly emanated out of Coffs Harbour.

Bulldogs CEO Malcolm Noad has been sucked into this irresistible vortex of dark matter; the same goes for Graham Murray, who has already been given the rocket by North Queensland Dairy Farmers Stadium ground control.

Steve Folkes is likely to go from being a super nova coach after getting the Bullies home over the Feather Dusters in 2004, to a dwarf star soon to be out of all NRL orbits.

Just about every other NRL coach who is coming off contract before 2020AD is likely to feel the career-crushing pressure generated by that black hole of rugby league – Wayne Bennett – from which nothing escapes, not even a quote if he is feeling cranky enough.

And just like all centres of the universe, everything swirling around in the rugby league pre-season cosmos seems to revolve around a six times premiership enigma. Rugby league astrophysicists call this undeniable pull, the Theory of Bennytivity, or Benny = KMA (kiss my you know what) X 2.

This season whole worlds are colliding around Benny.

Even Craig Bellamy, who is about to see his Melbourne Storm freefall against Leeds on the weekend in the World Club Challenge, is feeling the urgent tug coming from Red Hill and a Bronco Board increasingly desperate to break free from their permanent Wayne Bennett eclipse.

Craig’s number one star, Greg Inglis has already been captured by Benny. Why else would he be hanging about in Brisbane trying to break up fights (probably over why Benny should or should not be named coach of the Team of the Century to be announced soon) instead of lacing up the boots in England?

Sure, Greg has given some lame excuse about having shoulder reconstruction, but he will be going wherever Benny boldly goes – along with the whole constellation of Broncos and Greg’s Storm captain, Cameron Smith.

The Manly Sea Eagles and the Warriors are possibly only on the Coast right now because they hope it will open up a worm hole to Wayne’s World.

Benny’s gravity is light years ahead of that of ex-Parramatta anti-matter, Brian Smith – so intense that when Benny tries to smile, his magnetic personality inverts the corners of his mouth downwards.

The only way to overcome the terrible shock waves being felt throughout the NRL galaxies is to breed more stellar coaches.

Think of the Star Child out of 2001 a Space Odyssey meets the love child of Big Jack Gibson ... as cosmic dust clouds of cloned Benny foetuses float to the rescue of struggling clubs.