So Adam Gilchrist has played his last Test knock.

No doubt after the one-dayers, while his former great team “mate” Shane Warne is trying to break the bank at casinos around the world , Gilly will be out in the backyard doing the gardening ... nursing one of his young nippers on his knee.

He’ll be tinkering with the whipper-snipper, while Warnie will be texting up a storm and nursing someone in a nurse's uniform.

I have turned to those great (mercifully mostly) unsung heroes of the 1970s, the Billy Braggs of daggy music, Paper Lace, to pen a tribute song to undoubtedly the greatest wicketkeeper-batsman to get right up the nose of Warnie.

Gilly Don’t Be A Zero is sung to the same tune as Paper Lace’s Billy Don’t Be A Hero. Listening to Paper Lace, for those who were lucky enough to be born Generation Y, was like trying to watch Freddy Flintoff go on the wagon – it was always excruciatingly painful.

Put it on the turntable, settle back in your fluro bean bag for a Ballroom Blitz of the best of Gilly:

“Gilly don’t be a zero”
The run machine was down after a lean streak,
The keeping blues told him it was his time.
Heals was cross and then I saw Gilly facing up to join the dole line.
And with four catches dropped he looked a lot older.
The Paki tour just not to his fancy.
From Karachi to Bollywood, the fans were crying,

Next verse: And through their tears of laughter I heard them say:
“Gilly, don’t be a zero, we didn’t really fool with your wife.
“Gilly, don’t be a zero, so what if cricket costs you your life.
And as he started to blow, Sri Lanka said: “Gilly your knock in the Cup final was low!
“Gilly, don’t be a zero, come on and bat squash ball-free!”

Next verse: The keeping blues had sapped his pride.
Grassing Laxman and the three others to the ground,
He heard Punter mutter: “We’ve got to SMS Brad Haddin boys!
“We need someone who will stick around not sulk about wanting some family time.
“I need a vice-captain to rise up and show me how to be a man!”

Next verse: And Pup’s hand shot up in a moment
Thinking that Gilly was good as dead Pup said:
“Gilly, he was my hero, but he’s past his shelf life.
“Gilly, he’s not going to be here so, I’ll sit back until Punter gets the knife.
And as the skip’s back started to go, Pup said: “Ricky, you can’t bat with a runner forever you know.
“Gilly, he was my hero, he knew when to go!”

Last verse: I heard that Gilly got a text message.
It told how badly he sucked, they say.
The text said that he was a zero and he and Buck Buchanan deserved a spray.
I heard Warnie loved to text that way.