It is time to turn to music to sooth the savage beasts at Belmore who are flaring up that a certain Bulldog star has fled the Dog House with a dirty great big bone.

Whether he has fled with his tail between his legs or someone else’s, I leave for others to decide.

This ditty, The Ballad Of Sonny Bill, should be sung to the tune of the Steve Miller Band’s Take The Money And Run:

"This here’s a story about Sonny Bill minus that girl in the loo

They were once two sports lovers with nothin’ better to do

Than sit around with a camcorder and post themselves on YouTube

And here is what happened when Sonny Bill decided to cut loose

Sonny Bill fled from Belmore to Paris and got caught in a hell of a wrestle

That’s after young Sonny decided cubicles and the NRL weren’t worth the hassle

Sonny Bill used his Bulldogs contract to wipe his own ass….ets

Silly Billy took the French money and gave the Bullies the runs

Go on take the filthy francs and give the Bullies the runs

Go on take the filthy francs and give the Bullies the runs

Go on take the filthy francs and give the Bullies the runs

Go on take the filthy francs and give the Bullies the runs

Davey Gallop is a CEO who feels hit in the solar plexus

You know he doesn’t even know where Toulon, France, or who will be next, is

He ain’t gonna let that two-timer Sonny give him one of his flick passes

And treat the NRL faithful like complete jackasses

Sonny Bill, whoa, whoa, stiffed his own club, he ain’t gonna stay

Some bad ass Bullies say every dirty Dog has his day

Old Sonny got his filthy French money, $3 million Aussie they say

But his career’s one big toilet, just flushing away

He headed to the south of France ’cause sneakiness pays

Singin’ go on spit the dummy and run

Go on take some sweet Candy along for some fun

Go on make sure Steve Folkes’ will be really well hung

Go on take the big money but best buy a gun

Go on take the honey but you’re gonna get stung

Go on spit the dummy and run

Go on take some sugar Candy along for the plunge

Go on make sure Folksey’s becomes a homicidal son of a gun

Go on take the big money but better buy a funeral plot in Toulon

This here’s a story about Sonny Bill doing to the NRL what he did to that girl in the loo ... whoa, whoa!"