If such a misguided creature still exists, the last lonely Queensland Reds supporter and his dog must be howling: “Stop the bloody train wreck, I want to get off!”

Anyone who turned out at Lang Park on Saturday night must be either a Stormers fan or a lover of misery. Or maybe just loco.

Usually I don’t pay any attention to advertising unless it has something to do with cut-price beer or scantily clad billboards that must keep a lot of panel beaters in gainful employ.

But I saw an ad the other day that stopped me in my tracks – this other day being Sunday when the Stormers had just derailed the Reds with a 34-16 shunt.

This ad had a bunch of Reds in a huddle – probably behind their try line waiting for another conversion going on past form.

It’s hard to put any names to faces – one I think was David Croft, another might have been Sam Scott-Young. I haven’t seen a game lately – is he still playing?

Anyway, it’s not easy to recognise these guys, usually because they are in hiding after the Reds hopes for a Super 14s revival runs off the rails again. Huddling with these guys is a Queensland Rail porter, or maybe he’s a train guard … I haven’t ridden a train for a while because of all that soot and cinders coming in the windows – do they still have them collecting tickets?

The ad’s catchy line is: “There’s a lot riding on us this year.”

Then comes the awful truth: “QR – The Team Behind Your Team – Reds”.

There you have it folks – the company that has been losing money since it first started running behind time between Ipswich and Bigg’s Camp in 1865, is proud sponsor of a side that was been going backwards even before Eddie Jones signed and decamped.

Or was he railroaded?

If I was the Fat Conductor running QR, I’m not sure I would be wanting this knowledge spread around.

From what I’ve been told by people foolish enough to use the rail system to get to Lang Park games, there are already enough seat-slashed and graffiti-covered carriages on the main lines, without inciting the Red mobs to riot on the old rattlers running from Milton.

Possibly Reds “playmaker” Berrick Barnes saw the same ad on Sunday and mentioned it at training. The conversation with new coach Phil Mooney:

BB: “Hey coach, I think I’ve found our problem – why we missed 29 tackles and let in all those tries and lost our last three games – that guy in the QR orange vest has not been pulling his weight. I haven’t seen him at training once!”

PM: “Berrick … oh forget it, what’s the use trying to explain anything to a guy who signed up to play union for two years under super Eddie, turning his back on the Broncos who went on to win the NRL premiership?”

BB: “Are you trying to tell me something coach?”

PM: “Berrick, that fellow in the vest is Dave the Engine Driver – he’s in charge of the Reds line-out, which thinks it can, thinks it can, but it can’t. Now all aboard! Toot! Toot! Next stop the Bulls!”

For next Saturday night’s Suncorp Stadium arrival think of a speeding diesel loco entering a tunnel at one end and a railway hand car entering from the other. That’ll be the 6.59 pulling into Milton from Pretoria on schedule to smash the little Reds’ wagon.