Big Mal Meninga storms into Origin Camp II, The Aftermath, mad as hell.

He’s smashing his ham-size right fist into the left palm of his hand.

“Goddamit fellas, what you gave me and all my fellow Queenslanders was not good enough! Some of you were gun shy – went missing in action. Our statistician made more yards than you Charlie! Now, before Billy Johnstone and I take you blokes out back for a good whuppin’, I’m going to do you all a favour. I’m bringing in someone who we badly missed out there – someone who we obviously can’t win without!”

Cameron Smith yells: “Three cheers for Locky!”

“It’s not Darren…and it’s not Steve Price, Antonio Kaufusi, Wally Lewis or Big Arty.”

Mal opens the dressing room door and in walks Peter Beattie with his trademark Cheshire grin.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you boys in Sydney this time, but I was helping Heather de-tick Rusty before our California goodwill mission. Now boys, apart from my winning presence, something was badly lacking down there the other night – real passion! And I know just how to fix that!

“You only had to look at the soccer friendly the other night Australia v Ghana to get an idea of where we went wrong. Fellas, you didn’t have the music in you!

"Australia did the dirty on Ghana by hijacking their national anthem! Without those first few bars: ‘God bless our homeland Ghana, and make our nation great and strong/ Bold to defend forever the cause of Freedom and of Right/ Fill our hearts with true humility, make us cherish fearless honesty/ And help us to resist oppressors’ rule with all our will and might evermore’ those Ghanaians never had a chance.

"The Socceroos blew them off the park 1-0 because their opposition were not pumped up with patriotic pride.

“Now, most people are not aware that Queensland has a state anthem – I first heard it as a little tyke up on the tablelands. It was written by Clyde Collins for the 1958 Queensland Centenary and it went through me like Billy Moore scything through the Blues hollering ‘Queenslander’ for all he’s worth.”

And then Pete, in his best Al Jolson belts out “The Sunshine State”.

‘Life is great in the Sunshine State, every Queensland heart sings a song,
To its tablelands and its golden sands, we are proud to say we belong.
And our faith is great in the Sunshine State, for our Queensland future is grand,
From the northern cane to the western plain, it’s a full of promise land,
All the while, every mile, there’s sunlit smile and a welcome hand shake too,
For friendship’s great in the Sunshine State, may its sunshine keep smiling for you!’”

To a man the Maroons rise up and start head-butting walls in time to the marching band music that accompanied ex-Premier Pete...and Queensland is on track to a 2-1 series hit.

Footnote: Clyde Collins and The Sunshine State actually exist and Peter Beattie lists this sheet music as one of his favourite things, along with his 1964 Beatles concert ticket in his State Library personal collection.

Anyone caring to hear a rousing rendition can log on and freak out at:
www.topshowmusic.com.au/tsm/sounds/sswords.mp3