I'm sending this original dirt music ditty to my musical hero, Tom Waits.

Sure as hell he could do something with this… reeks of low-life elegance.

The Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues
When I was just a kid, me dad never had a quid

But he was liquid all right, from another big night

He was raising hell as far as you could see, instead of raising me

His money was spent on slow horses that never paid the rent

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

He run out on me mum, the dirty great bum

So after he took a hike, I had to ride me bike

To the damn bacon works, nothing could be bloody worse

Thirteen and coming home caked in blood because dad’s a no good dud

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

But I never caused a stink and said: ‘Mum, I’ll never drink’

She said ‘may the force be with you or I’ll bloody biff you’

So I signed up to become a copper, but really came a cropper

I failed the entrance test, thought I’d never make me first arrest

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

I always loved me football, it was tough but I had a ball

Played for Queensland and all, before Origin came on the boil

Started coaching at Ippy and was happy, when Alf was still in a nappy

Took Souths to the finals in 84, but Wally’s Seagulls destroyed us for sure

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

Then came Origin in 86 where I really took me licks

Three zip we went down and the press painted me a clown.

So I decided they can go get stuffed, left for Canberra in a huff

Tell them nothing, take then nowhere, media scrums I’ll never go there

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

Won the next two Origin series in a row, it was my turn to crow

Then I saddled up the Broncs, who were new, and belted Manly on debut

One thing I could see, the place was never big enough for Wally and me

So when I kicked the King off his throne, I was feeling all alone

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

Alf and the boys were great, had big wins in 92, 93, 97 and 98

And Alfie’s 2001 Origin odyssey for his state – you were wonderful mate

But after the sixth NRL rabbit in 2006, I was running out of tricks

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

With me interest badly flaggin’, it was time to be a Dragon.

Although I was a Bronco for life, I was heading into more strife

With Ivan nagging in me ear, Nathan Brown reckoned I was a bum steer

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues

A Sydney win gave us a finals boost, but things came home to roost

Some blokes just don’t think, when they go out on the drink

How one Saturday pub play, can turn everything into Mad Monday

The way the media kicked up a stink, is enough to drive a man to drink

We never saw the Storm coming, the boys were too busy loving

To consider the fall-out from what they were doing, and how we’d all be ruing

Photos of their manly tackle on their Apple…as Darren went the grapple

After the bar boss refused a shout, the CTV finally found him out

Booze, booze, booze, it’s a sure way to lose

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues…

Play it again…and make mine a double.

I’ve got the Wayne Bennett Grog House Blues.