Who on earth would want to be a football coach?

Their job stability is about as good as that of a suicide bomber strapped with TNT on an Iraqi bus.

That fact has never been more evident than this year, particularly in the AFL.

Fremantle’s Chris Connolly, Melbourne’s Neale Daniher, Carlton’s Denis Pagan and the man who has been at Essendon longer than Windy Hill itself, Kevin Sheedy, have all been given their marching orders.

In rugby league, incumbent NSW Origin coach Graham Murray decided he’d jump last week before Blues selectors gave him a push.

But who will replace these ousted mentors?

Just who is willing to put their neck on the line in the cut-throat world of Aussie football?

Here’s a few suggestions:

Fremantle: Stella McCartney. The apple of Beatle Paul McCartney’s eye is one of the world’s most prominent clothes designers. Maybe she can do something about their disgraceful jumper. Green, red, white and … purple? Not colours that instil fear in the opposition. No wonder they played like cats (not the AFL variety; they are on fire) for the first 15 rounds.

Melbourne: Father Bob from Triple J’s John Safran Show. The Dees need a cleanout more desperately than Tommy Raudonikis’s kidneys. If you’ve ever listened to Father Bob on the J, you'll know he doesn’t pull any punches and wouldn’t shirk the task of exorcising some of the under-performing Demons players to where they belong – the VFL.

Carlton: Eddie Jones. After his work with the Wallabies and Queensland Reds, Eddie has plenty of experience overseeing a disorganised rabble and would be a perfect fit for the Navy Blues.

Essendon: To see anyone coach the Bombers other than “Sheeds” just wouldn’t be the same. A bit like INXS now that American JD Fortune is singing for them. It doesn’t really matter who they choose.

NSW Blues: The inventor of online street directory whereis.com, with Chris Columbus as assistant coach. Unlike the Blues’ halves for the last couple of years, at least those blokes should be able to give the Cockroaches some direction.

Bulldogs were brilliant

Those of you who read this column last week will remember I had a pretty savage crack at NRL’s Bulldogs for their continued off-field discretions.

But credit where credit’s due, they were awesome – particularly Sonny Bill Williams – against the Raiders on Sunday.

In an earlier column this year, I nominated the Bulldogs as my premiership pick.

About two months ago, I thought that prediction was dead in the water. Now, I’m not so sure.