Another Olympics has come and gone – which means this sports nut is going to have to find something else to do on his Mondays and Tuesdays off work (sigh).

Here’s my take on a Games which, as usual, wrapped up far too quickly.

Beijing’s had its day on the world stage, one of the best Olympics yet.

It’s time to pay tribute with an Olympic ALPHABET.

A Jamaican runner going by the name of Usain made us sit BOLT upright,

We all looked on in awe, as he set the Bird’s Nest alight.

CHINA won 51 gold, 100 medals in all,

The Yanks were DEMOTED to second with 36, they found the order too tall.

EAMON broke it off with lovely Steph so he could blitz the pool,

After coming away with no golds he must feel like such a FOOL.

GRANT couldn’t hack it when a Tunisian stole his 1500 crown,

When we heard about Mellouli’s tainted past, it caused us all to frown.

He may look like the Paddle Pop Lion, but our man Steve HOOKER,

Vaulted himself into Aussie sporting folklore in the Olympic pressure cooker.

Clint Robinson had a disappointing end to his ILLUSTRIOUS career,

As did JAMES Tomkins in the rowing, when the eights boat proved hard to steer.

With Clint gone a man called KENNY is the new king of kayak,

LIBBY and our MELANIE helped stop our relay teams from copping any flak.

An Afghani won a bronze, the first medal for the troubled NATION,

The OPALS were second best again but Matthew Mitcham was an inspiration.

Michael PHELPS rewrote the history books in the Water Cube,

After taking eight gold, he’s got nothing left to prove.

QUEENSLANDERS kept the Aussie medal tally ticking over every day,

Stephanie RICE held up her end of the bargain, she really turned up to play.

SALLY stole our hearts in the hurdles, our sailors did well too,

Snowsill killed it in the TRIATHLON, there was nothing her competitors could do.

USA’S ‘Redeem Team’ did its job, the VICTORY song was sung,

When the Poms WALLOPED us in the medal tally our whole nation was stung.

BMX helped bring the X-FACTOR to the Games,

Kamikaze and Jared Graves are now household names.

While the two weeks were great, YELLING support for the Aussies,

Now that it’s over, we can finally get some Z’S.