“The public don’t want to see players who are like a stone. We’re not computers, you know.”

This quote was uttered by tennis player Marat Safin in an article on how to smash a tennis racquet in Inside Sport magazine.

The hulking Russian is spot-on.

This column bemoaned the lack of effervescent personalities on the tennis circuit around this time last year.

The Federers and Henins of this world may be able to entertain us with their ground strokes and crisp volleys, but any sort of passion on the court and in media conferences is about as non-existent as Britney Spear’s underwear.

Thankfully, some respite may be just around the corner in the form of a young Serbian with booming groundstrokes, blistering court speed and an even faster wit.

Example: this was Novak Djokovic’s reply was when asked by a journalist at the Hopman Cup whether he was enjoying the tournament, in particular the mixed doubles with countrywoman Jelena Jankovic.

“You kiss at the start, you kiss at the end, and when I’m serving she’s bending over at the net. A lot of the guys in the crowd will know what I’m talking about.”

This is how Federer probably would have answered the question: “It’s really good preparation for the Australian Open, in a more relaxed environment than some other tournaments.”

Zzzzzzzzzz. Break out the No Doze.

Djokovic also has an uncanny knack of impersonating other tennis stars after a match, or during a rain delay.

During their Wimbledon coverage, Channel Nine aired a piece where the world number three imitated the actions of Maria Sharapova, Andy Roddick and Raphael Nadal, among others.

It was hilarious stuff. But what was Federer’s reaction? This quote, also from Inside Sport: “He’s walking a tightrope. I know some guys weren’t happy.”

Oh please, Roger, where’s that really small violin I keep for stuff like this?

On Monday, the Australian Open begins when Australian sports fans will start discussing the size of Serena’s posterior, Maria’s shriek, Lleyton Hewitt’s inevitable fourth-round exit and whether Amelie really is a dude.

Federer will be at odds to win the tournament where you will need to head down to the TAB, offload your firstborn, a bunch of credit cards and the deed to your house to get anything remotely worthwhile back.

Most pundits reckon Federer not winning the Aussie Open is about as likely as yours truly scoring with Serbian tennis babe Ana Ivanovic (seriously, she is hot). But after watching the brilliant form of Djokovic at the Hopman Cup, I believe the Fed Express can be derailed.

Djokovic upset Federer in the Montreal Masters tournament final late last year. At the US Open, he went down in three tight sets after blowing three set points in the opener.

He will be better for that experience.

You can take the $1.67 about Federer winning. I will snap up the $7 on Djokovic to get up, thank you very much. Hopefully, for sports journalists everywhere, I am proven right.