Before I start this column, thanks to everyone for the lovely death threats that you took time to send me after my “Why your team CAN’T win the NRL title” column.

There are now two hired goons outside my house.

Hopefully I will receive cards with puppy dogs on them after this “Why your team CAN win the NRL title” column.

Brisbane: Many of their players did their best James Blunt impression last year, in the sense they had well and truly outstayed their welcome. Peter Wallace will help take some of the pressure off Darren Lockyer.

Bulldogs: The club has never been in more disrepair and the Doggies usually play their best football in adversity.

Canberra: The money being thrown at Todd Carney is justified – he’s going to be a superstar. Plus they’re based at a joint that’s so cold, visiting teams are more concerned with regaining the feeling in their toes than winning.

North Queensland: They made the grand final qualifier last year, and this year they will add Blues Origin forward Luke O’Donnell to their already star-studded squad. Plus their forward pack spent more time in a hospital last year than the cast of Flying Doctors.

Manly Sea Eagles: Their pack is not only as large as the catering bill at The Biggest Loser reunion, it’s also one of the comp’s most skillful. Ball-playing forwards like Anthony Watmough, Glenn Stewart and Steve Menzies give them plenty of attacking options.

Melbourne: Don’t get in any off-field scuffles because, well, none of the Victorian public actually knows who they are. This allows them to concentrate on football. Oh, and the fact they have guys like Inglis, Slater, Smith and Cronk in their side helps too.

Newcastle: Hopefully Brian Smith and the Knights squad have kissed and made up and they can play some footy this year. The only way this mob can win the NRL title though is if Joey comes back. They are my wooden spoon tip.

Parramatta: Have arguably the most exciting backline, featuring Krisnan Inu, Luke Burt and Jarryd Hayne, and really should be shooting (excuse the pun) for the premiership with that strike power.

Penrith: Big Petero will fire a rocket up the Panthers forwards, many of whom have been guilty of laziness and complacency the last couple of years.

Cronulla: Have been trying to win their first premiership since Harold Holt forgot his floaties, the postcode was introduced in Australia and Aborigines were given the right to be counted in the national census – 1967. Surely by law of averages they have to win one soon?

South Sydney: Had about as much in attack as an A-league striker last year, but Roosters recruit Craig Wing could solve their playmaking woes. (Yes, I know I singled out Wingy as why they can’t win the premiership on Sunday, but this could go either way.)

St George-Illawarra: Have finally found some halves, freeing up Mark Gasnier to play where he has the most impact.

Sydney Roosters: “The Count”, Anthony Minichiello, has recovered from his back injury and will be calling the shots at fullback. In his down time he can count the number of international forwards the Bondi boys have in their pack.

New Zealand Warriors: Brent Tate will relish a change of scenery and a more senior role in his new team. Word has it that Steve Price actually swam to the Sunshine Coast for the recent trial against Manly, he loves hard work so much.

Wests Tigers: Provided Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah can stay fit, the Tiger’s youthful exuberance may yet see them make a shock tilt at the premiership like they did in 2005.

Gold Coast: Have an abundance of class in the halves in Scott Prince and Mat Rogers, and provided the “Rat” and the “Prince” can gel, they may make the finals. Plus they’re not playing at a stadium that’s Queensland Cup standard.

Happy 100th birthday to the Greatest Game of All, and may the best team win.