Regular readers will know that I am not big on promoting idiots. They will be aware that I have a very low tolerance level for the fools of this world.

I have never done a political piece for that very reason.

So it might come as a surprise to find that I am not about to have a shot at Warwick Capper over his plans to run for mayor of the Gold Coast.
You heard me right – Warwick Capper wants to be mayor of the Gold Coast.

Fair enough, I say.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t particularly like the bloke. In fact, I reckon he’s about as close as you can get to Paris Hilton … without the frilly clothes and the little dog (as far as I know).

I’m not sure if he’s also featured in a sex video but he’s got such a big ego I reckon he would have ruined it by ensuring the camera was on him the whole time.

Despite his many failings, you’ve got to give him credit for getting off his butt and doing something. (If you’ve stumbled across this column while doing an internet search using “Warwick Capper” and “butt” as key words, then you’re a sick individual and should stop reading right now.)

But I disgress.

It really doesn’t matter to me that Warwick has a snowflake’s chance in hell of becoming mayor of the Gold Coast – at least he’s not sitting back and whinging about the world like so many others.

You have to remember that this guy used to be a superstar in Aussie Rules.
Yes, I know it’s not an international game and has limited appeal to the masses north of the NSW/Victorian border but a lot of them there folks down south seem to like it and Warwick was a genuine superstar in his time.

He’s also responsible for one of the crassest pieces of television I ever saw, when he and his then wife Joanne were showing someone (I think it was Don Burke) through their Gold Coast mansion for a “celebrity homes” type of story.

In true Warwick Capper style, the toilet had floor-to-ceiling windows so he could sit there and watch the world (and presumably be watched by the world) while he took care of his ablutions!

He also took great delight in sitting on the throne and pretending to “go potty” for the cameras to prove how good it was.

So he’s never been real classy but at least he’s an individual – something which is a bit lacking in society these days.

When his playing career came to an end, Warwick took his tiny red shorts and his long blond hair and disappeared for quite a while.

Next thing we knew he was discovered several years later working as a lollipop man for Beaudesert Shire Council.

That was when I started to get a bit of respect for the bloke. Or maybe it was pity at that stage – I’m not sure.

Here was a man who had reached the pinnacle of his sport – albeit it a minor one on the world stage – reduced to holding the stop and go sign at roadworks.

And yet that Warwick Capper spirit was alive and well and he still believed he was God’s gift to everything and everyone.

Somewhere in there he and Joanne had split – which is always sad, although I’m sure Warwick’s ego survived.

He may not have even noticed she was gone except for the fact he didn’t have to share the bathroom mirror any more.

Then he became a bit of a minor celebrity again – if you can call spruiking on the streets of Surfers Paradise “celebrity”.

My wife and I saw him at work earlier this year, accosting people in the street and trying to get them to take a day tour. I was desperately hoping he would approach us and say “Hi, I’m Warwick Capper” purely so I could make say “Warwick who?”

But he picked on someone else and I’m sort of glad he did because my wife pointed out that at least he was having a go and it must have been pretty hard for him to swallow his pride and do the job.

And she was right.

So even when he recently slipped into a pair of gold hotpants to join the Meter Maid brigade I thought “good on him”. At least he’s having a go.

And now he wants to run for mayor at next year’s Gold Coast City Council elections and truly believes his status as an “icon” gives him a good chance.

Would I vote for him? No way in the bloody world.

But wouldn’t it be an interesting world if he somehow got elected?