That John Molony’s a character, isn’t he?

John Molony?

The mayor of Mt Isa?

That bloke who called for all the ugly women to head out west.

That’s right, the “sexist pig”.

Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

I spend years cultivating a very specific reputation and he comes along and wipes me off the board with one case of foot-in-mouth.

For those of you who’ve been living under a rock, I should point out that John Molony is the bloke who put out a call for the nation’s ugly women to head for Mt Isa because they’ve got a real shortage of birds out there.

Whether it was a gaff or a carefully-orchestrated plug, Mt Isa has never had so much publicity.

The local council and chamber of commerce must be delighted and by all reports the menfolk of the town are gathered at the bus station, slobbering over every woman who arrives.

That’s all well and good but it can get a bit embrassing when Aunt Mabel arrives for her annual visit and finds herself the centre of more male attention than she’s had since the American fleet tied up in (she doesn’t talk about that much – just goes all dreamy-eyed every time she hears The Star Spangled Banner).

Anyway, good old John Molony figured that since Mt Isa has five men for every woman, it would be a perfect place for “ugly ducklings” to blossom into swans.

"We should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mt Isa," he reportedly said.

"Quite often you will see, walking down the street, a lass who is not so attractive, with a wide smile on her face.

"Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation of the next evening, there is a degree of happiness.

"Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are unhappy with their lot.

"Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed Mt Isa where happiness awaits."

I kid you not! That’s what the man said!

I know what you’re all thinking - "Go on Damian, sink the boot in. Say something really funny."

You’re kidding right?

Anyone who knows me will be aware that I am a big supporter of the sisterhood.

With the possible exception of that Mamma Mia incident(I’m still paying dearly for that little piece of literary honesty) I have always been willing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with my female friends and say "we are women, hear us roar".

And I will stand beside the daughter of a friend of mine who, on hearing of Mr Molony’s poorly-chosen words, sat down and wrote him a scathing letter.

I won’t bore you with all the details but some of the best parts include calling him an “unreconstructed troglodyte”, whatever that is.

“The assumption is that any woman brave enough to move to Mount Isa likely considers herself either ugly as sin or horny as a ferret. Or, for a truly fulfilling life in northern Queensland, perhaps both,” she wrote.

“Beauty-disadvantaged women everywhere will thank you for the leg-up in getting a leg over.

“I’m curious at how you think your comments reflect on your own wife ... should she consider herself no more than the "least ugly" woman available to you at the time? Or were you fortunate enough to secure her in some other burg where the reverse problem exists - where you were invited by the town administrators to take your pick despite your own lack of attractiveness.”

Pretty vicious stuff.

So, out of fear for my personal safety, I would like just like to add my voice to the chorus.

Mr Molony, you are a sexist pig.

We’re as ugly as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore.

Just quietly though, it would be nice to do something to help our lonely brothers out in the mines, so if you are free next weekend and looking for a night out, I’ve got a mate who’s got a pub out there and he could probably help arrange a few bus tickets and a free meal or something ...

You’re right. Damn stupid idea.

All together now – “I am woman hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore ...”