Did I hear that they’re talking about changing the way we use taxis?

Something about deciding on a price for a trip before we actually head off?

What the hell are they thinking?

Can you imagine what will happen if we are suddenly able to negotiate a taxi fare?

Next thing you know we’ll be wandering along the taxi rank saying things like “that bloke will take me to Caloundra for $20, what’s your best deal?”.

And before you know it we’ll be haggling over fares ... and we all know that Australians aren’t good hagglers.

Oh sure, we like to think we are but anyone who’s been to Asia knows we’re bloody amateurs.

I’m not sure if I’ve told you about a mate of mine who was in Fiji and spent almost a complete morning haggling over the price of a boom box stereo (yeah, it was the ’80s).

After much to-ing and fro-ing, including a charade where the shopkeeper chased him down the street begging him to come back, he finally got the price he wanted.

He then spent the next two weeks lugging the bloody big thing around, only to get back to Australia and find it was cheaper at Chandlers.

I’m not much of a haggler either, although I have tried.

I saw a show on TV where some expert was saying we should push for a better deal at retail shops.

“Don’t be scared,” he said.

“Tell them how much you’re willing to spend and see if they’ll come to the party.”

So I walked into an electrical retailer on the Coast and showed a lot of interest in a TV which was on special for $399.

“Yeah, I like it,” I told the salesman. “But it’s more than I was wanting to spend.

“I’ll give you $350 for it.”

He looked at me like I was an idiot.

“It’s $399,” he said.

“Says so right there on the tag.”

“Yeah,” I countered.

“But I’m offering you $350 – take it or leave it.”

Sadly, he left it and I had to send my wife in the next day to buy it for $399.

But I’m not the sort of bloke who takes defeat lying down and a few months later, we were in Malaysia where haggling is a tradition and taxi drivers are fair game.

So everywhere we went I’d ask them how much to get to our destination and then beat him down a little bit.

It was so expected of us that the few times I couldn’t have been bothered haggling, I had drivers refuse to get behind the wheel until we’d argued over the price.

So I got right into the swing of things and haggled my heart out.

No price was satisfactory (although the girls behind the McDonald’s counter refused to play the game and just kept pointing to the price list and shaking their heads at me) but after a few days it seemed I was getting a little bit obsessed.

We were heading north from Kuala Lumpur to Penang, which was a bit of a hike, and the cabbie and I had spent the best part of 10 minutes arguing over the price.

Before long his colleagues had gathered around with bemused looks on their faces.

“Obviously in awe of my haggling skills,” I thought, as the arm waving and cries of exasperation increased.

“Look at him squirm under the power of my bartering skills.”

Suddenly I felt my wife’s firm grip on my arm.

“Just pay the man,” she scolded.

“He’s taking us halfway up the country and you’re trying to knock three cents off the price!”

Bloody complicated currency conversions!

But he got his revenge.

An hour later as we cruised up a wonderfully wide, smooth highway, I looked over from the backseat and saw that we were sitting on 165kmh.

No wonder we were passing everything on the road and weaving between lanes of traffic.

“Say something” my wife hissed. “Make him slow down!”

But I didn’t, of course.

An Aussie male would rather be terrified for a couple of hours than show any sign of weakness to a vengeful taxi driver.

And you think I’ll be haggling with Aussie cabbies?

Not bloody likely!