Another dangerous goods shock and more toys are off the shelf, not to mention out of little Suzie's toybox at home.

"Suzie, Santa gave you drugs for Christmas and we're taking them away to...umm... dispose of."

While cheap thrill seekers are sure to be rushing to any uninformed Toy 'R' Us to get boxes of the stuff for this weekend's party, who would have thought that these innocuous little beads would be so dangerous to our precious little treasures?

Let's examine that thought:

• Firstly, they're called "Magic Beads".
In my experience of music festivals, it's safest to avoid any small goods being peddled as "magic".

• At a quick glance, they look like a tasty alternative to Skittles, or M&Ms.

• They're more of a rainbow of colour and possibility than an afternoon with Timothy Leary.

• One truly trippy attribute of the Toy of the Year is that the beads stick together with water... What sticks together with water? That's just crazy and not to mention truly magic, guaranteed to have a stoner staring in wonderment for at least 30 minutes.

• The logo is a green moose?! C'mon! A green moose! How much more psychedelic do you need to get here?! It's like a peyote trip in the Rockies...

And if you happen to have ingested any Bindeez today, you might enjoy the website featuring said ha-moose-ination even more.

Your honour, my final piece of evidence is in the name itself: Bindeez.

If you cleverly remove the first four letters, you end up with the word Eez , which is a well documented and common response from an overly euphoric drughead on a Saturday night when asked: "What are you on?"

Not to let the first four letters get off scott free, they could also be used as an acronym for: But I Need Drugs.

Hey, if AC/DC could be After Christ, Devil Comes, then this must be true too.

Clear as day, people! Clear as day!

To prevent wastage, thus lessening our carbon footprint while protecting the young 'uns, perhaps the confiscated beads can be repackaged as Leareez, an adult party snack?